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23.12.2021

Caffein

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Just how many times have I found myself cowering here
I can't even remember, it’s been so many times
This suffocating scent trapped me in memories
The contents of my heart surging down the drain
 
I spilled the lemonade down the sink, and the next night
I closed my eyes
08.06.2020

Sulky Alley

Dazed, it's past two in the morning, I'm finally myself
Ah, if there isn't anything, there's no one
I'm surprisingly not hungry
 
And, this overly sentimental mind, what an idiot
I can't speak out anyway, it feels good
So stop with the serious stuff already
 
This is beams
Bored forever
Soap land of maggots
Black line on eye
Miss, wallet, without anything
Our monster
Starts growing...
He, priest, total trap
I wish I could turn back
Since when was this here?
 
I was left behind
The lonely nights were so much fun
 
Obviously, I tried to pay back what I borrowed at lunch
Ah, if there isn't anything, there's no one
I'm surprisingly not hungry
 
And, this overly sentimental mind, what an idiot
No way to know if I'm even alive tomorrow
But here I am lavishly crying, this isn't gonna get better
 
This is beams
Bored forever
Soap land of maggots
Black line on eye
Miss wallet, without anything
Our monster
Starts growing...
He, a priest, total trap
I wish I could turn back
Since when was this here?
 
I was left behind
The lonely nights were so much fun
 
This is beams...
He, priest, total trap
Since when was this here?
 
I was left behind
The lonely nights were so much fun
 
This is beams
Bored forever
Soap land of maggots
Black line on eye
Miss wallet, without anything
Our monster
Starts growing...
He, priest, total trap
I wish I could turn back
 
Since when was this here?
 
28.05.2020

Reflecting on the Sunset

I made time into money
I made money into alcohol
I laughed because I had nothing left
Is it normal to feel excited but not fun?*
 
Too many opportunities missed
Because of this dirty heart
I'm living in these ridiculous days
But forgive me, forgive me
 
Can't forget, can't forget
No way I can forget
All the memories of me falling down
Are all part of me anyway
 
I don't want to ashamed of who I am
Even if you are leaving me
There are foolish loves that just can't be helped, you know
 
There was a time at dusk
When you and I laughed together for the last time
It was like the first time
You knew it too
 
Only this hesitant heart that regrets everything
I threw away to be myself
Is settling in my place
Which is bad, I know it's bad, but
 
Can't forget, can't forget
No way I can forget
These days becoming meaningless
As I forgive them
 
What else there except
Keeping my promises I made with mysefl?
This way of keeping myself the way I am
That you told me you liked
 
'But I need to go soon'
When the sun set in and the sky is dark
'But right, you need to go soon'
I can't help myself from seeing your eye's gleam*
 
Can't forget, can't forget
No way I can forget
All the memories of me falling down
Are all part of me anyway
 
Like how scars can still give pain
Even if you fill everyday with happy things
The happiness you gave me can't be erased
With a mere scar