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Trampakoulas is the Valentine

Tall and imperious with muscles and big arms
And beautiful as a double bio-goo
Tough and unsympathetic with a bat in his hand
Until his wife objects him
 
He holds a microphone and slices the air
We've got a rehersal together every Monday
But recently he chickens out more and more
His wife is screaming and he is dancing to her tune
 
Trampakoulas 1 is the Valentine
On Mondays, the beast awakes within him
 
Ten to twelve, February 14
Trampakoulas is missing and I'm suffering inside
He is being held captive in a deep dungeon
And they try to fit the suit on him
 
He curses and cries and raises his hands
But his wife's ear doesn't sweat 2
Comprehend it, you missed the rehearsal
It's time for Valentine's to celebrate
 
Trampakoulas is the Valentine
On Mondays, the beast awakes within him
 
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
 
Trampakoulas is Santa Claus
You eat in one place, drink in another and fuck in a third one
Trampakoulas is Santa Claus
You eat in one place, drink in another and fuck in a third one
 
Santa Claus
You're fucked
 

• 1. Trampakoulas was a comedic character made by Harry Klynn
• 2. She doesn't care at all