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20.12.2020

Heart-ocean

Versions: #1
Over many years, I’ve pretended I didn’t have high hopes
It’s a little embarrassing but I know it, know it, know it
I keep saying it again and again
 
But these hyperbolic curves didn’t cross
Without knowing a thing, I dove in, dove in so deep
I couldn’t breathe
 
A streak of white light causing sleepiness called out my name
If you reach out to me
 
Ah my heart still isn’t ready for it
As the deep ocean calmed down, I just envisioned my ideal
Wishing so hard it hurts, I will never forget
Ah if I ever stopped here like this
I wouldn’t even know the taste of tears
Laughing with you
 
I’d die to swim around my imaginary world
Upon the crepuscular sun
Fell my memories, memories, memories flowing along
 
In a hopeless and passive way I’ve been talking
In the sky where I gaze at my tomorrow, what a shame
What a shame, to the future I cannot hold on
 
The misleadingly glistening voice peeked out
Though it was just a hurtful dream
 
My heart ran fast, causing commotion
If the sound echoing on the outskirts of the heart-ocean
Is a decisive proof that I lived with you
I’m sure I sought for it, the voice calling as if slipping
“I’m coming now”
 
Ah my heart still isn’t ready for it
As the deep ocean calmed down, I just envisioned my ideal
Wishing so hard it hurts, I will never forget
Ah if I ever stopped here like this
I wouldn’t even know the taste of tears
Laughing with you
 
08.12.2020

Ocean of the Heart

Versions: #1
For a myriad years, I pretended I had no expectations
I was embarrassed, but now I get it
Is what I say, but...
 
The hyperbolae could never meet
Not knowing a thing, I dove deep
Without holding my breath
 
A languid, faded light called out to me
If I can reach out...
 
Ah, my heart still isn't enough¹
In the deep calm sea, I imagined idealism
I wished so much it hurt, I could never forget
Ah, when I stand still right here, I remember
I really didn't even know the taste of tears
When I laughed with you
 
I want to swim in in my imaginary world
Seeing the twilight sun,
My memories came flowing
 
Talking in a hopeless, apathetic tone
Looking up at the sky, I realized
I couldn't even believe in the future, anymore
 
I hear a voice so unbelievably beautiful,
Though it's just a battered dream
 
My heartbeat fluttered rapidly
If this sound echoing through my whole heart
is the proof that I lived with you
I'll keep searching, with my howling voice
01.12.2020

Snow

In this pure white world
How many colors are we dyed in? I wonder
 
In this moment we are given
We’ve turned the helm as best as we can
 
It’s incomplete, it’s incomplete
Things I don’t know of just keep sinking below my ego
 
I’d realized, I’d realized
My accelerating temperature painted out my unease
 
I just, just don’t want to end it like this
Towards this ephemeral tale
 
Let’s go now
 
I remember the white ocean
A message for which words aren’t enough
From the warmth of those fingertips
Your heart slowly began to thaw
 
“If this is a dream, please don’t wake up”
Things like that are nothing but nonsense, yet saying that “I had fun”
Even if this moment would never come to pass again
Those words will never disappear
 
This complicated situation I’m mixed up with
Just how many colors does it reflect? I wonder
 
Those sensations that had seemed to become so commonplace
Crumbled and fell to dust in this moment
 
“I still, still want it to continue like this”
You said, as your profile that you never show me
Is etched into my mind, and won’t disappear
 
I remember the white ocean
And this moment too starts becoming nostalgic
Even my view becoming hazy with tears is fine
Just remember this definite warmth
 
“If this is a dream, please don’t wake up”
By carving this feeling into your chest,
As though I’d remember again someday
I kicked at the silver-white ground
 
Let’s go
 
I remember the white ocean
A message for which words aren’t enough
From the warmth of those fingertips
Your heart slowly began to thaw
 
“If this is a dream, please don’t wake up”
Things like that are nothing but nonsense, yet saying that “I had fun”
Even if this moment would never come to pass again
It would be burned into our chests
And never disappear...
 
18.07.2020

Morning Falls

As expected, a 'my way' where nothing progresses
and I don't have any desires, it's better just to leave it be
 
But...
 
The destination where I suddenly arrive is no place for me to be
Not a single dream or two, so I don't need you to tell me 'You can do it'
 
And before I even realize the only thing I've gained is wasted years
 
And only that one word, I can't forget, even now
 
If I tread onto the dark surface of the water
I wonder if I can go to the city of the beasts
 
Along with at nostalgic smell,
enchanted by the afterglow of the twilight
 
Our future
 
Recalling these things
And always staying silent
I'm sure you can understand
The solution that can't be expressed through words
 
Sometimes crying,
And feeding my loneliness
I'm sure there's nothing wrong with that
Since I could walk so well through this night
 
I'm sure morning will fall for you too
 
The adults are idle in the light today as well
'Good job with work' while I'm still swimming through the air
 
'You need to become a child
that can say thank you and sorry'
 
There were more important things than that
But I don't remember anything else
 
'Throw away any unneeded feelings!'
They said that as if love was poisonous
 
But I sometimes wonder if they really said that
Maybe forgetting easily is my special skill
 
If I couldn't become happy by myself,
I can't become happy together with you
 
The light and shadows that streamed in
Reflected you vividly
 
My innocence and immaturity
 
I wonder how we are connected
I wonder how long I can endure
Both painful nights, and dark nights
I'm always in the middle of a journey searching for you
 
Recalling these things
And always staying silent
I'm sure you can understand
The solution that can't be expressed through words
 
Sometimes crying,
And feeding my loneliness
I'm sure there's nothing wrong with that
Since I could walk so well through this night
 
I'm sure morning will fall for you too