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I'm Gonna Get Off My Nuts 2

On Friday at 10, I'm stressed
I've got my heart somewhere in the throat
There's no coffee, Jesus Christ!
Everything is infected with a virus,
closed and under surgical mask
It's dragging on, Lord be with us!
I'm gonna get off my nuts...
 
I'm waking up with a tear in my eye
I'm above 60 years
Endangered species, like a panda
That's not funny anymore, guys
You're skiing
And I'm having breathing issues
I'm gonna get off my nuts...
 
Klaus* doesn't wear a respirator
He says he's Terminator
And it has nothing to do with him
That's the politics
He is simply other level
And we, down there, we are only weed!
I'm gonna get off my nuts...
 
Dáša** is flying to Zanzibar
And I'm buying Lybar*** for my wife
Beauty salons are closed
So she's dyeing her hair herself
The most difficult thing is to get the right colour
So I'm stuffing my shopping basket with three of them!
I'm gonna get off my nuts...
 
Children are studying home
Computers in their hands
And mother is calling grandpa
Grandpa is yelling: 'I can't do that!
I live peacefully here
Reared with Nokia'
I'm gonna get off my nuts...
 
It's as if I knew, what's gonna happen
Luckily I quit drinking
You can't talk with anyone, you can't sit with anyone
You just stare on a TV at home
You've got a hole in a sofa
It's hard to be an alcoholic
I'm gonna get off my nuts...
 
People, don't be sad
Sputnik is rushing from the east
Astrazeneca from the Union
I'm curious about what's gonna happen
In April, at the most in May
When they all gonna prick us!
Before I'm gonna get off my nuts!!!
 

Těšínská

If I had been born a hundred years ago
In this town
I would have picked flowers for my bride
In Larischs garden.
 
She would have been a shoe-makers daughter
From Kaminski house, somewhere in Lviv
/a sentence in Polish/
I would have loved her and
At least for two hundred years
 
We would have lived in Sachsenberg
At the Jew Kohns house.
Of all the jewels in Těšín
She'd be the prettiest one.
 
Speaking Polish and a bit of Czech,
A couple of words in German and she would smile nicely.
Once a century a miracle happens,
A miracle happens.
 
If I had been born a hundred years ago
I would have been a bookbinder.
I would have worked at Prochazka from five to five
And got 5 guineas for it.
 
I would have had a beautiful wife and three kids
Good health. I'd be around thirty
With a long life ahead,
A long beautiful twentieth century
 
If I had been born a hundred years ago
In a different time
At Larischs garden I would pick flowers
For you, my love.
 
A tram would go up the hill across the river
And the sun would be raising the border barrier
And the nice smell of Sunday lunch
Would pour out of the windows
 
In the evening, an ancient melody
Would be heard from Moshe.
It would be summer nineteen hundred and ten
And a river would flow behind the house.
 
I can see it like today, a happy me,
Wife, children, and the sky of Těšín.
Its just good that man doesn't know
What lies ahead.
 

The Cake Shop Bossa Nova

My friend eats seven cream rolls
And when he's finished those
He'll have even more sugary treats
 
He says good people don't get toothache
And it's great to travel all over the place
And have that sweet taste in your mouth
 
What a treat - sugar and coffee
And half a litre of Becherovka liquer
Hooray
Lend me 500 (Czech Crowns)
Today's bill comes to 400.
 
Cake shop assistants all round the country
Flutter their eyelids sweetly at him
And in return he sings
This cake shop bossa nova again and again
 
My friend drinks elderberry juice
He says there's nothing better
It's a massive hit of glucose, he says,
And I should drink some too
 
Just look how many women
Would open their legs to carry his child
But I suspect
He'll just turn into a big fat ball
And when someone gives him a kick
He'll roll off out of my life
And I'll be alone, completely alone.
 
What a treat - sugar and coffee
And half a litre of Becherovka liquer
Hooray
Lend me 500 (Czech Crowns)
Today's bill comes to 400.
 
Cake shop assistants all round the country
Flutter their eyelids sweetly at him
And in return he sings
This cake shop bossa nova again and again
 
My friend can't see his toes anymore
He's grown so fat
And he's just getting fatter
Sentenced to being fat for life
 
But people need glycids, he says
Our body is like a furnace
And it burns up all the sugars
Some get their kicks with alcohol
Some with drugs
But he gets his from eating sweet stuff
 
What a treat - sugar and coffee
And half a litre of Becherovka liquer
Hooray
Lend me 500 (Czech Crowns)
Today's bill comes to 400.
 
Cake shop assistants all round the country
Flutter their eyelids sweetly at him
And in return he sings
This cake shop bossa nova again and again
 

Drink water

Drink water
Drink potable water
Drink water
and don't drink rum
 
Drink water
Drink potable water
Drink water
and don't drink rum
 
Drink water
Drink potable water
Drink water
and don't drink rum
 
One sad railroad worker
drank eggnog on fifth platform
it glued his mouth
and diesel engine killed him
 
Drink water
Drink potable water
Drink water
and don't drink rum
 
Drink water
Drink potable water
Drink water
and don't drink rum
 
In Becher's family
they drink becherovka straight from bucket.
That is why every Becher
has sore liver and spine
 
Drink water...
 
(In slovak)
I drank Gorbatschow brand vodka
and then I said this and that
I got three years for that
Now I drink chlorinated beverages
 
Drink water...
 
(In polish)
We are boys from Warsaw
We are going by train to Ostrava
Four litres of vodka and lot of beer
We are such good colective
 
Drink water...
 
One lady in Americe
Embarrassed herself very much
She drank rum in one gulp
And vomited on White house
 
Drink water...