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Atonement

Laughing at other people's effort
Without working hard yourself
Cutting corners when it mattered the most
Giving up at the last second
 
Growing weak as you overworked yourself
Under the illusion that you were remarkable for acting tough
Not embracing other people's weaknesses
Believing them to be the same as you
 
Holding it all in when you wanted to cry
Being cruel to your own heart
Making those closest to you feel sad
Hurting those who are important to you
 
Rejecting those you hate
Deceiving those you love
Facing those around you with a fake smile
Only moving forward by being picky
 
Arbitrarily deciding that being around others is for the weak
Yet worrying about having chosen solitude
Not treasuring the people that loved you
Finding nothing but ill will in them
 
Thinking hard about living
Wanting to have a reason for everything
Not being honest about your own feelings
Shaking off the hands held out to you
 
Not saying 'I'm sorry'
Saying 'I'm sorry' with such ease
Not saying 'thank you'
Expecting 'thank you's to come to you arbitrarily
 
Not realizing that you are loved
Taking the fact that you are special for granted
Regretting the fact that you were born
Trying to bear more than you can handle
 
Ah, today too, let's keep on living, little by little
 

Heart-Restoration Song

In order to hide their tears, people face upwards.
However, it’s because they don’t let their tears dry out that they’re human.
 
“I want to simply vanish like this,”
I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve thought that.
Will time I passed by my lonesome
somehow make me stronger?
 
Even if I'm laughing, even if I'm crying, if I’m alive it’s all okay.
Past days morph into something it seems like I’ll someday be able to forgive.
Only people with wounded hearts can touch the hearts of other people,
and some are saved by the kindness reflected in their eyes.
 
In order to hide their tears, people face upwards.
However, the courage to show tears surely makes people stronger.
 
The foot I stepped out, I pulled back,
and countless times I’ve fled away into darkness.
Even averting my eyes from radiance -
that alone doesn’t mean I’m simply a coward.
 
Even if the blue sky is bitter, if I’m alive it’s fine for me.
My shouldered emotions morph into something - I feel I could come to love sunny days again.
Only people with wounded hearts can see the wounds in other’s hearts,
and will surely be able to staunch them with kindness.
 
“The will to rescue is a lie. People eventually end up alone.”
“The will to rescue - somehow, people find themselves unable to abandon others.”
 
Even if I'm laughing, even if I'm crying, if I’m alive it’s all okay.
Past days morph into something
it seems like I’ll someday be able to forgive.
Because they have wounded hearts, because they’re like this,
because they already know how to restore a heart,
there are people saved by the kindness reflected in their eyes.
 

How to Protect You, Who Won't Cry

You stopped crying in front of me.
Is everything alright now? I wondered.
 
Living this way is terribly painful, isn’t it?
Even when you slip up, you never show weakness in front of people.
 
Nothing is alright.
Not at all, with no exception.
I failed to notice that
not once did you place the blame on me.
 
You stopped crying in front of me.
Since when has this been the case? I pondered.
 
Despite the fact that I can’t afford it,
I guess I’m good at caring for others.
Just lending an ear, never teaching myself anything.
 
How to protect you, who won't cry,
is something I search for wholeheartedly.
You laid down your might,
waiting for me to make a move.
 
You stopped crying in front of me.
You lost the ability to do so.
 
How to protect you, who wants to cry -
in order to find it, I draw closer.
If only very slightly,
you remember how to shed tears.
 
Let me protect you, who won't cry.
 

Cheers

On your way home after the rain,
if you halt just before the railroad crossing
and gaze up upon the rainbow painted in the sky,
you'll cast off your umbrella and break into a run.
It seems the vapour trail I saw that day
was replaced by a rainbow and has faded away.
Things taken for granted become special then:
I love moments like that.
 
Kicking aside stones and dashing away.
The water puddles at the base of slopes.
It suddenly occurred to me
that the sky was crying in my place,
for the me who refused to cry.
 
Because when I'm singing, I'm always able to smile.
Because this world would be dyed in my colour.
Surely, with words, with the whole of me,
I'll continue creating theses sounds of music.
The coat I bore, the shoes I wore -
I'll shed them and go on barefoot.
I'll step firmly onto this earth and start walking.
Amidst a gently blowing breeze,
I gave a great hand-wave.
 
The afternoon's puddling sunlight
spreads across this park bench.
Depicted in the sketchbook
were birds on the brink of flight.
The vapour trail I saw that day -
I want it to lead a rainbow to me.
Things taken for granted become special then:
I'm waiting for such a moment.
 
The telescope that had been used and kept away -
there's a chance I might never see it again. But
It suddenly occurred to me
that if I were to gaze upon the moon now,
reaching it would be within the realm of possibility.
 
If I start singing, then even if the sky seems slightly dark,
because I've been entrusted the colour of this moment,
then surely, even if I have nothing in my possession,
I can see something truly special.
In a bottle that has been emptied,
there, my singing voice is stowed.
It's flowing towards the ocean
and the sky is reflected upon that tiny glass.
It was glittering brightly.
 
Songs have always put a smile on my face.
They have dried my the traces of my tears away,
given power to people and strength to the heart.
Thus, I believe in giving.
 
Let's play music, and in bitter times, let's sing.
This world is full of wonderful songs.
The continuation to this broken and torn sheet music -
let's create it now.