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Old Fart

Versions: #1
Daniela digs Jonas but Jonas loves Vanessa.
Vanessa would like to be with Lars but Lars prefers Melania,
except that she is into Tim, Tim in return thinks Jennifer is fly.
Jennifer is in love with Kevin - however! Kevin is guy-on-guy.
Tobias is into Annika and she thank God into him as well
But he has been her best friend's crush
since like forever, o well.
 
Thank God I am just some old fart,
What do I care about you all
Am neither hetero nor queer
And all I need is a comfy chair.
 
Hagen shoots Sebastian, Sven runs Hagen over,
Christopher strangles Sven and thanks to Yannick he gets clobbered.
Bjorn and Jochen murder Yannick,
Lukas then snuffs Bjorn and Jochen,
Benjamin 86s Lukas but thanks to Nils gets daggered.
Afterwards Felix and Torsten snuff Nils,
Alex finishes Torsten and Felix
And then gets killed.
 
Thank God I am just some old fart,
What do I care about you all
My balkony is where I at
From here I watch you rampage and rant.
 
Won't be here for long anyway, will leave this valley of tears.
Blow everything up to pieces - I really do not care.
 
Thank God I am just some old fart,
What do I care about you all
And should the world come crashing down,
Forgive me but I do not give a damn.
 
Forgive me but I don't give a damn.
 

My wife...

When I come home from work the flat looks terrible.
Dust everywhere and it smells really bad.
Plates, mugs and pans pile up in the kitchen sink,
Shirts, knickers, towels cover table and chairs.
My wife...
She is a ***,
Knows neither vaccum cleaner nor broom.
Yes, she is a
Total *******,
She's always been this way.
Every lass owns fancy dresses,
Does make up, does bling bling, alas, not mine.
Concerning perfume I know she couldn't care less.
She don't smell like roses, but more like a hippo.
My wife...
She is a ***,
I wanted to get that off my chest.
Yes, she is a
Total *******,
Any questions?
But to be fair she has some virtues,
Especially after we hop into bed.
She's got fire and likes it vocal
And the best thing is when she *** my ***.
My wife...
She is a ***,
Get what I mean?
Yes, she is a
Total *******,
And that's why I love her to bits.
My wife...
She is a ***,
Big time.
Yes, she is a
Total *******,
So let's hear it for all *******!
 

Right In The Kisser

The light's green, I want to make a right turn.
I've gotta watch out for pedestrians.
A helpless, old lady is standing, waiting to cross.
I smile, signal to her to go.
She finally gets across, but not fast!
So, now the light's red again. I have to wait.
 
Right in the kisser!
Right in the mouth!
Right in the mug!
You old bastard!
 
I need a paper, wonder if the news stand's still open.
Going on 30 past, into the rush hour.
Kids on their bikes are standing at the door.
'Already closed!', they shout to me.
'Thanks for letting me know!' I say,
'Before I had to ask!'
 
Right in the kisser!
Right in the face!
Right in the nose!
You old bastard!
 
The workday's over, I'm looking forward to a beer.
My wife greets me at the door.
'How was your day?' she asks,
And 'Who'd you meet, see?'
'What did you do during the lunch break? she asks.
And 'How am I?' and 'Do I still lover her?'
 
Right in the kisser!
Right in the face!
Right in the nose!
You old bastard!
 

THE WAY 'DOWN UNDER'

Beneath the grass
I feed on darkness.
For many days now
Obsessed and fearless
This is a small world
That I can touch
And occasionally
Find some copper ore
Diamonds and granite
I'm totally captivated
And lured to proceed further.
 
Show me the way 'down under'
I hate daytime,
I hate the light
Show me the way to darkness,
Where solitude prevails,
Where no mirror shows my face
 
Nice cool air,
Reduces the fever deep inside me
Damp, earthy smells
I hear myself digging,
The nature
Of the soil changes.
Have I already
Passed the midpoint?
I've no sense of time or space.
Then there's light
And a kangaroo
Then I know, I've dug too far!
 
Show me the way 'down under'
I hate the daytime,
I hate the light.
Show me the way to darkness,
Where solitude reigns,
Where no mirror reflects my face.
 

Come Back Here

Life is gray without you
Gray like the layer of dust on the table
Gray like the bread on the floor
Gray like the liverwurst
Under the bed
It's empty in my fridge
I don't have any more fresh socks
No one does the shopping or sweeps
Pays attention to me
Puts up with me
Come back here
It's so hard without you
Can't you see
It was nice, though, wasn't it?
Who makes me coffee in the morning?
Who closes the door when I leave?
Who cleans the windows and the shoes?
Who brings the garbage to the door?
Who, if not you?
Come back here
It's so hard without you
Can't you see
It was nice, though, wasn't it?
 

Old Man

Versions: #2
Daniela likes Jonas, but Jonas loves Vanessa.
Vanessa would like to be together with Lars, but he likes Melanie better.
However, she prefers Tim, Tim on the other hand finds Jennifer cool,
But Jennifer is in love with Kevin, but Kevin is gay.
Tobias finds Annika hot and Annika actually finds him hot too,
But tough luck, he is since long ago the crush of her best friend.
 
Luckily I'm an old man,
That's not my business anymore!
I'm neither straight nor gay,
And a comfortable chair is all I need.
 
Hagen shoots Sebastian, Sven runs over Hagen,
Christopher strangles Sven and gets beat to death by Yannick
Björn and Jochen kill Yannick,
Lukas finishes Björn und Jochen,
Benjamin kills Lukas and gets stabbed by Nils.
Thereupon Nils gets finished off by Felix and Thorsten,
Alexander kills Thorsten und Felix
and gets shot.
 
Luckily I'm an old man,
That's not my business anymore!
I have it good on the balcony,
And watch all the things you are doing down there ...
 
I don't have much time left in this mundane valley of lament.
Just break everything into pieces! I don't care.
 
Luckily I'm an old man,
That's not my business anymore!
And when the earth explodes,
Excuse me, I don't care.
 
Excuse me, I don't care.
 

Property

The big life of a big man
needs to be based on a big dream,
that he dreams in a big bed,
and a bed like that belongs in a big room.
Big rooms can only be found in big houses,
with big windows to look out from
over one's own, correspondingly big land,
that is surrounded by a big fence.
 
I am the property of my property
I am a slave to everything that belongs to me.
I am obsessed by what I own
and I am eaten by what nourishes me.
I am the servant of that what I earn,
I am the slave of that what I enslave.
And all the things that I have at my disposal,
I bravely submit myself to.
 
I made it to where I always aspired to be.
All the things all around here belong to me.
However the only thing this leaves me with
is the fear to lose it all again.
And so I lock myself up with all my treasures
in a wired armored hiding place.
I am tired, but I am afraid to sleep
or the mob will come and take everything away from me.
 
I am the property of my property
I am a slave to everything that belongs to me.
I am obsessed by what I own
and I am eaten by what nourishes me.
What I control, deprives me the control
I am totally stunned by what I helped myself to
in order to skillfully escape my fate - yet it came
 
I am the property of my property
I am a slave to everything that belongs to me.
I am obsessed by what I own
and I am eaten by what nourishes me.
I am overwhelmed by all the oppressed
and because my wealth still is not enough for me,
remains for me as security, just only a little security - perhaps.
 

Evil

I am in a cult of darkness
That helped me realise
That our short existence
Is more fun when you are evil
They raised me right
I never stole and never lied
But I shall strive
To give into the evil
 
Evil! I am so evil!
Evil! I am so evil!
 
I want to cross the street when the light is red
Especially if kids are watching
I hold the fork in my right hand
And let the other arm just hang
I eat Nutella with a spoon
And cut potatoes with a knife
When only two sausages are left
I take them both
 
Evil! I am so evil!
Evil! I am so evil!
 
On the 1st of December
I open all doors on the Christmas calendar
I want to whisper in front of others
I want to crumble paper in the movies
Climb trees with new pants
Point at people with my finger
Talk over others
Eat my boogers, bite my nails
 
Evil! I am so evil!
Evil! I am so evil!
Evil! Unspeakable evil!
Evil! Terrifying evil!
 
In the future I shall tie
My laces with a single knot
Always put my hands in my pockets
And after brushing my teeth, I shall secretly snack
Take three bites of the apple
Then throw the rest away
Pee standing in the toilets of others
Never flush, never close the lid
 
Evil! I am so evil!
Evil! I am so evil!
Evil! Unspeakable evil!
Evil! Terrifying evil!
 

Sit Down

The smart people have certainly already registered it
The great power that directs and controls everyone
You don't believe what you see anymore, only what you're shown
You just sit there, watch the screen, and keep quiet
You are paralyzed by the addiction for more and more
And every clear thought difficult for you
But I reveal to you, what you still don't know:
That this way is the best for you!
 
Sit down! shut your mouth!
I make it for you loud and colorful!
Eat your full, feel free!
I have something for everyone!
 
An individual is smart and sophisticated
But the mass is dumb and uncoordinated
When in doubt, everyone thinks only of themselves
lock the door and abandon the rest of the world*
I offer you a simple reality
Because you are not cut out for true knowledge
Too much information only irritates you
Therefore you need someone who guides and leads you
 
Sit down! shut your mouth!
I make it for you loud and colorful!
Eat your full, feel free!
I have something for everyone!
 
Sit down! Shut your mouth!
be a totally brave dog!
Don't think, Insert yourself!
You are weak, dumb, and small!
 
The number-one rule in my game:
You need freedom but only as a feeling
you believe that you do what you want, have your fun
But everyone only goes as far as I allow
It doesn't matter what you're protesting, or how loud you do it
I've positioned you all on the field
But it's important, in order to keep things going:
That you never understand this game!
 
Sit down! shut your mouth!
I make it for you loud and colorful!
Eat your full, feel free!
I have something for everyone!
 
Sit down! Shut your mouth!
be a totally brave dog!
Don't think, Insert yourself!
You are weak, dumb, and small!