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Vade retro

Vade retro!
Keep your ignoble lust away from me
Don't come close!
don't you see you wake up my animal instinct
Don't profane the holy plans of god
and men
throwing my soul to the abyss of the carnal vice
 
You bitch!
You always feel horny
you always search and search
see that I'm not made of stone
you tart!
You dimwit!
So many girls in the world
that are as pure as a tuberose
and I stumbled on you
what a thistle!
You're churlish
a sheep as a coat
that's why I curse you
with a bolero beat.
 
I've been taught not to do impure actions
because the sight and mental health become weaker
and catches the tuberculosis and become a midget
if you cover carelessly in the vice of the immoral act
 
You pain!
You always think of the same
you're insatiable
I'm not an object
to reload
You swine!
Don't blow me in the ear
because I can't bear it
and before it bounces
I'll chop it off.
I'll chop off my ponytail
like a bullfighter
and I go fuck myself
with a bolero beat.
You bitch!
 

Habanera

Oh mother, no! I don't want to be a fisherman!
See mother, see! I want to be a farmer.
 
The sea makes bad pranks
when the leveche wind blows
and besides, I can't harvest apples
which is what I like.
The west wind blows,
The east wind blows
immediately one decides
that I'm getting dizzy
And when the mistral wind
swells the sail powerful
I put my head overboard
and throw up my food.
 
When the rough sea goes up
such soaking is made
that after nobody says
I'll never drink of this water
 
I don't like the foam
nor fishing monkfishes
I just have an obsession
to plant cabbages and pull out turnips
And as long as I'm breathing
I want to shout for once
to finish the habanera:
Fuck the salty sea!
Fuck the salty sea!
Fuck the salty sea!
Damn how it rains!
 

Hello! Hello!

Hello! Hello! Hello!
Hello! Hello! Hello!
Yes, is very good the show
Hello! Hello! Hello!
Hello! Hello! Hello!
I love you Oh, yes, I love
Hello! Hello! Hello!
Hello! Hello! Hello!
I’m love you Love. You no,
I love. You, no,
¡And all together is a mess!
 
Life is not a cabaret
but a lagoon of sardines,
or a big house of hats,
or if you want, of berets.
Life are not flower arrangements
where poets succeed,
instead of natural flowers
they give us a handful of alfalfas
to those who pull the strings.
 
Life is not an ideal,
let the fantasy be,
and you'll see it's a potty
full to the top of rubbish.
Life is not a paradise,
to screw it quiet and happy,
like is a soaking
a mess and dung
life is a great shit.
 
Life, therefore,
is no good at all, no, no.
Life is... this.
 

I've seen a king (And the poor horse, what?)

I see, I see, I see, I see ...
What?, what?, what?
What do you see? ...
Ei, ei, ei, ei ...
Au, au, au, au ...
Ep, ep, ep, ep ...
Ah, right, yeah, right. Ah, right, yeah, right ...
 
I've seen a king!
You've seen a what?
A king.
Ah, right, yeah, right. Ah, right, yeah, right ...
A poor king was crying, riding on a horse,
and he cried so much, that he made a...
That he made what?
That he made an erosion. Oh, poor king!
And the poor horse, what?
Eh! eh! eh! eh! Eh! eh! eh! eh!
 
I've seen a duke!
You've seen a what?
A duke.
Ah, right, yeah, right. Ah, right, yeah, right ...
A poor duke was crying, because a king was crying,
and he cried so much, that he looked like ...
He looked like what?
That he looked like a fish. Oh, poor king!
And the poor horse, what?
Eh! eh! eh! eh! Eh! eh! eh! eh!
 
I've seen a bis!
A what?
A bishop.
Ah, right, yeah, right. Ah, right, yeah, right ...
A bishop was crying, because a duke was crying,
because a king was crying, that he lost ...
He lost what?
He lost the appetite! Oh, poor king!
And the poor horse, what?
Eh! eh! eh! eh! Eh! eh! eh! eh!
 
I've seen a rich!
You've seen a what?
A rich.
Ric, ric, ric, ric, ric ...
A poor rich was crying, because a duke was crying,
and the bishop who cried for the poor...
For the poor what?
For the poor old king. Oh, poor king!
And the poor horse, what?
Eh! eh! eh! eh! Eh! eh! eh! eh!
 
And the rich, the bishop, the duke and the old king,
who cried so much: lost their appetite.
Hey! Listen boy!
What do we have to do?
Don't worry...
 
We must always be happy,
because if we cry we make the king cry,
we make the bishop and sensitive rich men,
and kind dukes cry if we cry this way!
 

May we never lack joy

May we never lack joy
to demand the autonomy
maw we never lack health
to demand the statute.
 
That thing of the spanish nation
came out by sheer luck
invented by the catholic kings
on a night of party
and alcoholic excesses.
And their children, grand children and nieces
and all the dimwits
who followed them behind
kept the obsession
of the unity for the sake of it.
 
And if by chance someday
the Madrid people start
requesting autonomy,
let them come without manias
and we'll give them right away
We'll make the great sausage
to that heap of miserables
who set the statute back.
Leave us the four bars
and keep the abusers to yourselves!
 
We don't want autonomy
when we have no joy
not the statute to arrive
when we're not healty.
 

We'll do it all night long

Come here, come here, you deserve it.
Baby, you don't know who am I, you don't know me
Baby, you'll fall, you'll fall, you're mature enough.
Run, that in my bed you'll find, pure dynamite!
We'll break the headboard and the springs of the somnier.
 
We'll do it all night long!
triqui-triqui-tri triqui-triqui-tri
We'll do it all night long!
traca-traca-tra traca-traca-tra
until you lose the senses
choocoo-choocoo-choo choocoo-choocoo-choo
until smoke comes out of the bed
nyaca-nyaca-nya nyaca-nyaca-nya
 
Come here and you'll see how I make you happy
that today there won't be less than twenty, I feel it.
Babe, come to bed, come to bed, if I get you
you'll have orgy, chaos and havoc.
Baby, you'll hallucinate tied to the matress.
 
We'll do it all night long!
triqui-triqui-tri triqui-triqui-tri
We'll do it all night long!
traca-traca-tra traca-traca-tra
until you lose the senses
choocoo-choocoo-choo choocoo-choocoo-choo
until smoke comes out of the bed
nyaca-nyaca-nya nyaca-nyaca-nya
 
We'll do it all night long!
We'll do it all night long!
triqui-triqui-tri triqui-triqui-tri
We'll do it all night long!
traca-traca-tra traca-traca-tra
We'll do it all night long!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
We'll do it all night long!
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
 
But you believed all that!
choocoo-choocoo-choo choocoo-choocoo-choo
It was just a song!
nyaca-nyaca-nya nyaca-nyaca-nya
We'll do it all night long!
Ah no, no, no, no! No, no, no, no, no!
until smoke comes out of the bed!
Ah no, no, no, no! No, no, no, no, no!
 
But we can play parchis...
Ah no, no, no, no! No, no, no, no, no!
or maybe Trivial Pursuit...
Ah no, no, no,no! No, no, no,no, no!
We'll break the headboard!
triqui-triqui-tri triqui-triqui-tri
and the springs of the somnier!
traca-traca-tra traca-traca-tra
 
You all think of the same...
Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
You don't see that it's no good...
Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Baby, you'll hallucinate!
Have mercy, that I'm weak...
tied to the matress!
Don't fool around, you're not old for that!
We'll do it all night long!
 

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Mr Ramon

Mr Ramon was cheating on the maids
and also many times to those who weren't.
The poor maids when they go to bed,
tururut, tururut, who moans has received.
 
- - - - - - (chinese music)
Poor Fu Manchu they cheat you with a chinese.
Poor Fu Manchu it only happens to you
When every chinky chinese goes to bed
Tu lu lu lu lu lu lu, I have so much blood
that at five I have “song”.
 
- - - - - - (arab music)
The moor Salem cheats on favourites
The moor Salem cheats on the whole harem
The poor odalisques when they go to bed,
tu ru ru ru ru ru ru, ru, tu ru ru ru ru ru ru, ru
For Allah, they had received.
 
- - - - - - (catalan rumba)
And look if the gipsy Ramon knew,
that he was cheating on the maids.
And look if the gipsy Ramon knew,
that he was cheating on everybody.
The poor maids... olé!
when they go to bed ... Pepé, Pepé!
Turú, turú, tuturututú .. who moans has received,
Turú, turú, tuturututú .. who moans has received.
Cuchibiri, cuchibiri, cuchibiri, papa!
cuchibiri, cuchibiri, cuchibiri, papa!
cuchibiri, cuchibiri, cuchibiri, papa!
Gipsy Ramon!
 

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The saber dance

When we were listenging on the radio
the vote of inauguration
with three-cornered hats and tommy guns
the dictatorship arrived
and we were shocked, atonished
 
What a covering we caught
what a dread and jitters
when the hoarse voice
shouted «to the floor»
starting to shoot... ratatata
 
Then they say that in Valencia
to hassle even more
the thing is well underway
and a funny man makes
some Fallas on February...what a shit!
 
We were seeing each other again
doing the sabre dance
that if someone doesn't remember
is the most maccabre dance
of the ones that are made and unmade... naturally!
 
Then, what a night, what a night!
we were hidden under the bed
but with calmness
and sqeezing our buttocks.
Let's not get nervous!
Calm, Jordi, calm
it's the civil guard, just calm!
Oh!, mama mama mama mama, I'm scared!
 
And they were giving us the rule
everybody goes to work tomorrow
«because nothing is going on here»
reapers, don't sharpen the tool
that we could get worse... generally!
 
And specially stay calm!
but if the moustache man wins
it willl be better to get drunk
and stop playing around
rung, get the bags
and don't stop until Perpignan...it will!
 
And on the next day when it got fixed,
what a strange thing
even the most skepticals
were all shouting «Long live Spain
and long live the constitution»... look where!
And long live the king... what a solution!
 
The thing is that you no longer know
who you can trust
if it's for good or bad
but it's sure that nothing will be the same again.
And I say, that living this way
so worried, can't be good!
 

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Hommage (Oh, censorship!)

Oh, censorship! Oh, censorship!
dear God, what a torture!
 
When the public servants
were saying on dictatoship days
that 'on those Catalonians
we must crack the whip'
And again with allegories!
And again with plays
and doing hand games
without feeling like it!
Look how he managed
a commited singer-songwriter
when we had to say a lot
but we couldn't say a thing:
 
The toilet is full
it spills by the sides
and its flushing chain
has all of us tied
If you pull it strong over here,
and I pull it strong over there,
surely the water goes down, down
and we can unblock it
If you pull it strong over here,
and I pull it strong over there,
surely the water goes down, down
and it will be very clean!
 
Oh, censorship! Oh, censorship!
dear God, what an adventure!
 
When we wanted to speak clear
but whe didn't know how
it was so funny
to say the things by its name
If not, listen to this other
how he was cheating
he couldn't say it singing
he had to give sass
 
Asturias dear homeland
who explodes those mines?
Coals! 1
And the miners are well black
with so many explosions
Coals!
What is thrown to the ovens
when revolutions are made?
Coals!
And is heard in the mines
a yell from the bottom
Coals! Coals! Coals! Coals!
 
Oh, censorship! Oh, censorship!
dear God, so much inculture!
 
The songs were full
of euphemisms in bulk
and lots of metaphores
to fool them!
Look how he seasoned
another singer-songwriter
who said it with few words
for good listeners.
 
The broccoli is flowering...
You understand me!
But we didn't believe in the broccoli...
You understand me!
Tomorrow will be another day...
You understand me!
And so tomorrow
that town will scream
there's no more broccoli!
You understand me! You understand me!
You understand me! You understand me! You understand me!
 
Oh, censorship! Oh, censorship!
dear God, what a torture!
Oh, censorship! Oh, censorship!
dear God, what an adventure!
Oh, censorship! Oh, censorship!
dear God, so much inculture!
 

• 1. Very close to 'cabrons', which means 'bastards'

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The three musketeers (1977)

We're the three musketeers
of the building sector.
Of the building sector
we're specialists,
of the building sector,
and to whoever calls us workmen
we'll hit him with a brick.
To whoever calls us workmen
we'll hit him with a brick,
to whoever calls us workmen
that now we study by mail
and soon we'll be foremen.
 
Here we go! Let's go with the second!
 
I bought a Derby
and also a TV.
I bought a Derby
and also a TV,
I bought a Derby
a fridge and a Turmix
and a 'histeric' record player.
The consumption society
makes us buy appliances
the consumption society
now I don't know where to plug them
as there's no electricity at home.
 
'Ole, let's go with the third!'. This is going great, boy!
 
Long time ago I arrived
and I feel like a catalonian.
Long time ago I arrived
and I feel like a catalonian,
Long time ago I arrived
and now I say 'charnegos' 1
to who come later.
Look how integrated I am
that I request the Estatut
and the Generalitat
and I even make the Carajillo
with Aromes de Montserrat.
We're catalonians, yes sir,
we're catalonians! eh!
 

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Flash Reagan

Ladys and gentlemen,
here's with you, the President
of the United States of America:
 
I turn on the console... here I go!
a starry sky appears
and the martians attack me... pigs!
you don't know who you mess with!
It's the star wars... dammit!
this is full of invaders,
For each one falling apart... pachumba!
twenty two appear.
I dodge one shooting me ... deary me!
with the neutron cannon
but I strike it and destroy it... ass!
let's see who has more protons!
 
I'm a hero! I'm a hero!
I kill more than when I played the cowboy
 
Now they're hassling me... those beasts!
and they're annoying,
but I send them a good hit... take that!
Fire, laser, one, two!
The crashers counter... mischievous!
they haven't hit me by little,
I have plastic ailerons... how horrible!
I can't go anywhere like this.
They sliced my screen... Oh mom!
and the laser wrecked
they desintegrated my helmet... what a bummer!
the game is over.
 
How bastards, how bastards,
to make this to me, the president of the United States.
I'll say to the Senate, I'll say to the Congress
to grant me for defense: Five more bucks!
I'll say to the Congress, I'll say to the Senate
that now the star wars have begun.
 
Now I'll order the NASA ... too much!
to make the space war
and to the NATO president... to him!
to make raise Cain.
And we'll attack the Soviets... frantics!
from the outer space
that in these video games... it doesn't fail!
the invaders always win.
And I'll force all the russians ...creeps!
to learn the bible in verse
and I'll make the Pope canonize me... Saint Reagan!
the saint of the universe.
 
There's no need to be precise, there's no need to be precise,
I play the star wars but on a large scale.
I'm a hero! I'm a hero!
I kill more than when I played the cowboy.
They'll admire me, they'll admire me,
like Flash Gordon, Donald Duck and Superman.
 

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We're all octopuses

On amountain there's a shepherd
who was singing a song.
In the sea a mermaid said:
- Let's see if you want to pay attention,
Don't be a rascal
Damn, damn, shepherd, you're so funny.
 
Shepherd, if you went down for a bit...
- And why don't you come up here?
- We'll make a beautiful couple
- We'll make a postcard couple
 
The girl gets out of the water the way she can and goes up there.
And all happy make a shack in the field.
We're all octopuses, we're all octopuses.
Come, come, come, sing along:
 
- Oh, how green is the field.
We see butterflies,
All white and beautiful
Like the rosemary flower.
Come, girl, come, come,
Come, girl, come with me.
How pretty is
the good morning spring.
 

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The three musketeers (1972)

We're the three musketeers
of the building sector.
Of the building sector
we're specialists,
of the building sector,
and to whoever calls us workmen
we'll hit him with a brick.
To whoever calls us workmen
we'll hit him with a brick,
to whoever calls us workmen
that now we study by mail
and soon we'll be foremen.
 
Very good, boy! Let's go with the second!
 
I bought a Derby
and also a TV.
I bought a Derby
and also a TV,
I bought a Derby
a fridge and a Turmix
and a 'histeric' record player.
The consumption society
makes us buy appliances
the consumption society
but I don't know where to plug them
as there's no electricity at home.
 
'Ole, let's go with the third!'. This is going great, boy!
 
Long time ago I arrived
and I feel like a catalonian.
Long time ago I arrived
and I feel like a catalonian,
Long time ago I arrived
and now I say 'charnegos' 1
to who come later.
Look how integrated I am
that I like the bread with tomato.
Look how integrated I am
that now I make the Carajillo
with Aromes de Montserrat.
We're catalonians, yes sir,
we're catalonians! eh!
 

• 1. And old slur for immigrants

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I want a busty girlfriend

Girl, it's not in fashion to be thin
but more like to be like a cow
And Madonna makes it big who's a buxom.
And the thing is, girl, I don't feel like taking a bite
nor in the right, nor in the left,
So little stuff doesn't excite me.
 
Because, I want a busty girlfriend
a hunky girl, a chubby girl
I want a busty girlfriend
That when I hug her I don't cover her
Better to have excess than to have shortage.
 
Girl, if you want me to grope you
Go see a surgeon
This is solved with silicone.
And the thing is, girl, I want plentiful breasts
To attack without consideration
To get lost in your cleveage and make out.
 
And only that way, baby you'll have my love
And without a doubt baby, you'll figure out.
 
Girl, let your breast shadow me
and spill over the carpet
a couple of spilled tons.
And the thing is, girl, it will be an extraordinary pleasure
to do the closet jump
I want to do the starfish with enough space.
 

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For the first time (spanish version)

The moment has come. Today is the day.
I'll do it for the first time. I'm old enough,
I went through puberty, I'm a man now,
my body is asking for it, good heavens!
 
I come to the place in question, there's a long line,
educatedly I request a turn to get into.
In the line some peep around
while others start to pull it out.
 
After waiting for more than half hour,
finally I get in the cubicle
where there seductively waits for me
I feel a feverish desire in the body.
 
I search for it and damn! I can't find it.
I got it, I grabbed it, finally it came out,
it's a matter of aiming it in the hole.
I get ready to make the introduction.
 
I push it without hesitating, it reaches the bottom
and so I finally finished the act.
I already put on... the ballot in the box,
I voted for the first time, I voted. La, la, la...
 

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How pretty are the commercials (Spanish version)

How pretty are the commercials
that they broadcast on TV
And it's their happy music
their power of persuasion
Are so good the commercials
that you always exclaim
Too bad that they cut them
to put shows
How pretty are the commercials
that they broadcast on TV
With their happy music,
pararán chimpón chimpón
 
What do the modern kids eat?
Cracker jacks, beans and sugar
Choco-plast, choco-plast!
The snack for today's children
For them to make sport and a healthy life
And purge all week long
With a choco-plast, with a choco-plast
With a choco-plast is enought
(With cards of the Challenger explosion)
 
They are mad about you
because you smell like a man
which is their loved scent, roar
And at one mile of distance
they note your fragance
and the congested ambient, roar
Your perfume leaves print,
they remember you passionately
And they need the help of God
to vent the room
Roar, roar (to smell like a tiger)
 
Freedom, freedom
Freedom all a victory
Freedom for you woman!
Freedom, freedom
Freedom and more freedom
This is a maxi pad commercial
as you have noticed
Freedom, freedom, freedom!
 
Nya nya nya nya, nya nya nya nya
I have an authomatic seed-peeler and you not
I bought it because it's absolutely indispensable
And it's portatile, programmable and even remote-controlled
Nya nya nya nya, nya nya nya nya
I have an authomatic seed-peeler and you not
You'll see, you'll buy it too!
(Peelmax, it peels them well peeled)
 
How pretty are the commercials
that they broadcast on TV
With their happy music,
pararán chimpón chimpón
 

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My school (spanish version)

That unraveled overall,
that shaky leather schoolbag
that gloomy school with a thousand windows
jumble of brats and cassocks,
 
those tatooed desks, those pencil cases,
those downstroke books, those homeworks,
that frightening bad omen cassock
with that huge and complete fly
 
Their mission was to teach us declinations
and to smack us a bump on our heads
and to gloss all the martyrs of the book of saints
and to educate us the nazi-onal spirit
 
Come let's go with flowers to Mary
How good are the Piarist fathers
how good they are that they take us on a trip
Long live Spain and its tradition
and the Piarist fathers who teach us.
Of Isabel and Fernando the spirit rules
we'll die kissing the holy flag.
Ave , Ave, Ave Maria
Ave , Ave, Ave Maria
 
That May, month of Mary, those rosaries,
that pile of mass cards and scapulars,
that World Mission Sunday collect, those millions
to baptize infidels in the missions.
 
'The hands on the desk' they repeated,
'Those things leave you blind' they warned us,
'We must be pure and chaste' they preached
while with the foolish hand they groped us.
 
That smell of blackboards, confessionaries,
of pencils, orange peel and urinals.
A crucifix was heading our lessons
and at both sides were hanging, the two...thieves.
 

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Ode to toilet paper (spanish version)

Pa, pa, pa, pa, paper, paper,
paper, paper, paper, paper, paper, paper
paper, paper, paper, paper, paper, paper
paper, paper, sweet satin,
you'll give us pleasure
paper, paper, without end.
 
Paper, paper
Of color gray, loud red white and blue, lemon green
is your essential purpose to caress with softness.
You always alert serving the people
without distinguising analphabet or intellectual,
Private or general, proletariat or capital.
just at time of evacuating the classes don't fight
just at time of evacuating the classes don't fight
don't... fight...
 
Is your cruel destiny, is your disgraceful fate
when they used you to violate your punishment
of sending you to the sewer by flushing.
And is your wise rebelliosness to block the pipe
as a final revenge.
Humble, delicated, and selfless paper,
you have always been despised and mistreated mercilessly.
Loved paper, fellow of the toilet
you must be defended and presented in society.
And recieve the award of some... decoration.
 
Paper, paper, faithful friend.
Because with your exemplary help
we don't have to splash the fingers,
and as proof of good faith
I swear I'll never use
the rough leaves of the ABC.
Only you, Only you, Only you, Solo tú!
And may my yell reach heaven
because you are and you'll be our best friend,
loyal immortal toilet paper
paper, per, per, per...
Glory to the paper.
Glory to the paper, paper,
per, per, per...
 

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The Hermanas Sisters

Men carry hanging
a little cilinder, a little cilinder,
what say that is to give us
pleasure, pleasure.
They presume that a handspan
is the national average
but that they don't make the grade
is the most common.
 
What do they have, what do they have
that we girls don't have?
What do they have, what do they have?
A span more, a span less,
a span less, a span more,
what difference does it make?
 
If a man accomplishes in the bed
like he should, like he should,
who has fun in measuring it
with a king foot, with a king foot?
Before entering in the subject,
my daughters, measure
that not always come together
quantity and quality.
 
Nobody do the rooster
Kikiriki, Kikiriki
for not having to crouch
for peeing, for peeing.
If for a sad flap
someone thinks he's superior
may he shows it in a vase
with mothballs.
 
That we girls don't have?
What do they have, what do they have?
 

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The vegetable soup

To France like an arrow
our truck swallowing miles
devouring the road
marches roaring like a lion
how good smell our orange
our pepper and our lemon!
How stink garlic and onion!
Nobody can stand this truck!
As they don't let fish tuna
we send vegetables to the Common Market
speed up that at la Junquera
is the border and we must pass
 
'Good morning' 'How are you?
Welcome to the Le Perthus border'
'I'm the first gendarme
I'm the second, I'm the third
Let's see the documentation.
Your green card is uncoloured
your passport is expired
África comance, África comance,
Africa comance a les Pirinées
Your green card is uncoloured
your passport is expired
But la gendarmerie is in good mood
'Allez, allez, allez, you can pass'
We're in france, we went through the worst
look at those farmers hitch hiking
 
Oh Ramon, they look at us loathly!
Oh, Julian! They will hit us here!
'Where are you going with that truck
where are you going you big cook
you won't pass from le pont d'Avignon'
 
The courgette goes to Berlin
the peach goes to London
the scarole goes to Liverpool
and the aubergine to Istambul
and then we have the plan
to reach to Amsterdam
because the iberic cucumber there
has more outcome than here
 
'Arrêtez' 'C'est fini! Stop!
we'll burn all these vegetables right now
we'll make a falla like in Valencia'
Don't touch my pear nor the courgette
look that if I get angry I'll raise Cain
We're gonna burn the truck
Baked apples will be good
look that if I weild the muskeet
I'm worse than Agustina de Aragón
 
The vegetable war blasts
and the ammo is vitaminic
the carrot is a projectile,
the aubergine is a missil
They yell: 'Santiago y cierra España!'
'Vive la France! Allez, allons enfants de la Patrie!'
What a soup! What a compote!
What a salad that is done there!
Entrez, entrez à la comunité
You'll see, you'll see how good you'll be!
Entrez, entrez à la comunité
You'll see, you'll see how good you'll be!
...how good you'll be!
 

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The potato (spanish version)

Mulata!
According to the principles of evolution
we come from the monkey, what an outrage!
Enough with Darwin hussling so much
if the man comes from the potato.
Enough with Darwin hussling so much
if the man comes from the potato.
 
This theory is unquestionable
the potato thing is a palpable fact
Like the potato, we come from the dust
and we return to it as long as we can.
The skin wrinkles to the old tuber
the same that with the years our skin hangs.
 
And when it wrinkles it becomes fatal
that neither the Gerovital can fix it.
Enough with Darwin hussling so much
if the man comes from the potato.
Enough with Darwin hussling so much
if the man comes from the potato.
 
Patatín-patatán patata-patatona
patatín-patatán.
The potato stuff has been doubtlessly
a very tricky subject.
Patatín-patatán patata-patatona
patatín-patatán.
When Adam and Eve made a mistake
it wasn't for an apple, but a potato.
Patatín-patatán patata-patatona
patatín-patatán.
 
Grab a potato and softly
look at its eyes and call it mom.
Becasue when we eat baked potato
it's a parricide and a mischief
And is so tasty in every moment
the starch is always a great food.
 
And when you die the priest says
'In fécula feculorum Amén'
Enough with Darwin hussling so much
if the man comes from the potato.
Enough with Darwin hussling so much
How tasty
Patatín-patatán
 

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The Blue Danube (spanish version)

The Blue Danube...
 
The Duero is brown, the Nervion is grey lead
the Sil is greenish, the Genil is brownish
the imperial Tajo is potty ochre
and the Ebro shines while passes
with nuclear whiteness.
 
Toxic waters, septic waters
like melodious toilets
Putrid waters, stinky waters
that coat Spain with an intoxicating smell
There are of mangy grey
of a greasy litmus
of a disgusting khaki
because the filth is multicolor
 
Exhale the gentle brook
a subtle outpour
and the weak west wind while passing
makes you puke
Almost intact cow pats
decayed sardines
swollen chickens
is all the fauna of the waterway
 
And the oldest of the place
seem to remember
that in their childhood the river
there was a fish once
And the fearless fisherman
finds overwhelming
to get with precision
to tell a salmon of a condom
 
Pathogenic liquids, caustic detritus,
atomic fluids, plastic bags
everywhere.
 
Because the filth, because the filth
because the filth is multicolor
Because the filth, because the filth
because the filth is multicolor
Multicolor
 

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The Egg of Columbus (spanish version)

In all history
without discussion
there's not a more famous egg
than the egg of Columbus
 
He became friend of the queen
through very singular means
by making with an egg
some juggling
And he said: 'Isabelita,
let's see if you give me a boat
because I wanna take a look
on the other side of the Pond'.
The queen got convinced
one doesn't know how it was
if it wasn't because of the egg
who knows the reason!
 
And he sailed with the Pinzones
who were sailors
and they were soaked
more than three months
And when everyone said:
'Columbus, up yours!'
they heard a calypso
'We're at the Antilles!'
 
And happy of being on land
he kissed the ground with devotion
like the Pope of Rome does
when he's on a trip
and they went back to Spain
and it's the end of the story
that began with a joke
and ended in a discovery.
And he brough as memoir
for thee queen and the king
four natives with maracas
who were singing 'Siboney'
 
And so thanks to Columbus
we have corner shops
tobacco, potatos, mulatos
and argntinian psychiatrists
and the Mother country thing
and the three hundred millions
corridos, guarachas, pachangas
and other tasty beats
 
In all history without discussion
there's not a more famous egg,
nor an egg so attractive,
so glorious, so snazzy
so generous, so lively
than the egg of Columbus
 

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The bishop of Aquisgran

The bishop of Aquisgran, you'll see, has a cousin
the sacristan chases her, you'll see, because he wishes
to knock her over the couch becuase he's in a hurry
what a plan! the sacristan.
 
What a rouge, what a rouge, what a rouge,
that you chase the cousin of the bishop of Aquisgran
 
The sacristan has invented a trick
he disguises as a poor pregnant woman
and he comes soon to the hallway of the bishopric
what a plan! of Aquisgran.
 
The bishop of Aquisgran opens the door
what do you want, good woman, in the middle of the night?
you'll give me shelter, according to what I've been told
what a plan! by the sacristan.
 
'You look in labour, good woman,
You look in labour, good woman,
you'll sleep with my cousin and if there are news
you'll sleep with my cousin, you'll sort out with her
between women, you know? you understand'
 
The sacristan strips near the cousin
the girl who sees him, is in shock
'Oh my God, it's a boy with what he hangs,
excuse me! there's no confusion'.
 
The bishop of Aquisgran hears the yells
he imagines that the woman gave birth
'I'm glad if it's a boy but I won't move
sh! from my bed'.
 
The sacristan becomes friend of the cousin
and soon he passes the pregnancy
to that cousin, you'll see of that bishop
what a plan! of Aquisgran.
 
Hallelujah! Hallelujah!...
 

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Great Manolo (spanish version)

On a Saint Eugene day
going to el PArddo he met you
and put you as minister
in the Information Ministry
and so in the sixties
little by little and secretly
you filled the whole Spain
you filled the whole Spain
with inns and bikinis
 
You were enacting press laws and similars
the same as you were washing your boxers in Palomares
Almost every week you were on the NODO
and is that when one worths, he's useful for everything.
 
Manolo Fraga Iribarne
with that wasp waist, with that highland body
Manolo Fraga Iribarne
with that endless anger that no gipsy dodges
how can you consent that the ones you repressed before
today they occupy your sections and even subsecretaries
Manolo, ay Manolito
get stuck into them, get stuck into them
because Manolo.... you are Spain!
 
Then you were ambassador
because your thing was diplomacy
and you returned with the bowler
newely converted to democracy
and now you're on the seat
of loyal opposition chief
and you mess with your father
and you mess with your father
for defending the constitution.
 
How they get wrinkled with that talking that God gave you
all the members in the Representatives congress
Manolin don't hold yourself, Manolin don't restrain yourself
that by walking even the Lions of the Courts tremble
 
Manolo Fraga Iribarne
You're indeed the greatest, nobody has your calliber
Manolo Fraga Iribarne
look how you changed, defending the free world
you even occupy the street without measure and calmness
demanding for freedom, specially in education.
Manolo, ay Manolito
In the highest nail the spear
Great Manolo, the street is yours!
 
Manolo Fraga Iribarne
Manolo Fraga Iribarne
All Spain shivers from Almería to Betanzos
when you roar in the courts 'How much the chickpeas cost?'
Manolo, ay Manolito
get stuck into them, nail the spear
because Manolo.... Spain is yours!
 

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The Baron of Bidet

On the eighteenth century in Paris made a frenzy
the Baron of Bidet, well-known inventor.
The Baron was pondering with the chance
of taking seat showers without losing the dignity.
 
At the Versailles fountains he gazed atonished
at some ducks putting their ass against a water fountain.
And mr Monsieur exclaimed: Eureka! Je l'ai trouvé
Ohlalá! Oh! mon dié! je feré a good play
it will be a palangane with the jet incorporé!
 
With the excuse of the design the scoundrel Baron
was doing the great flirt with Madame de Chateaubriand.
The efficience of the invention reached such dimension
that in the French courts the pollution went down.
 
Insatiable the crowd demanded his bidet
to be able to wash sitting and not standing.
And they went in a gang and took over the Bastille.
Quesquesé se merdé? the nobility was wondering,
the french revolution, Quesque vous avez pensé?
 
The egalité, liberté and fraternité was instaurated
and in Paris there was no ass without a bidet
And so thanks to Danton, Marat and Robespierre
the France madams wash their 'pomme de terre'
 
And for this invention the nations will honor the Baron
like the Count of Foie-gras and the Marquis of Croissant.
And this is the exact story of the Baron and his device
And you'll never find such refreshing sensation
on back and front, on front and back.
 

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The light man

He smokes cigarrettes of a brand with low nicotine,
he drinks his decaffeinated coffee and with sacarine.
And he adds skim low-calories milk
And Bitter-Sin is his apperitif every noon
 
He's a light man, and he feels light.
All in him is light, light, light...
 
He eats everyday an decarnified burger
Because the t-bone and the fillet are tacky
He waters everyday his rose bushes with deodorant
He has a stuffed parakeet so it can't sing
 
He knows nothing of what he has to know
He takes nothing of what he has to take
He has nothing of what he has to have
Nothing is real, all is so light
 
As prophylaxis he uses to make love with a helmet
He always grabs it with a glove because it disgusts him
And he is active in a light delefted left-wing party
Low is so many things that it has nothing of left at all.
 

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Massacre and Annihilation

The jam packed cinema, the show begins
there's a great expectation.
Because is very suggestive the title in question:
Massacre and Annihilation!
 
The leading star is a hunky man
with fascist-like ideas
who won in the war four medals
slaughtering vietnamites.
He lives in a farm, harvesting roses
and chasing butterflies.
Get on with it!, roars some spectator.
Get on with it!, the whole cinema cry.
 
Everybody loses the patience because
the mass extermination delays.
But God willing and and someone teasing him
he'll draw the bazooka soon.
As it's expected, they rape his cousin
the movie spices up.
Revenge! yells the hall standing
Revenge! I'll have a great time.
 
Before the credits, thirty seven die
the movie promises.
And the best is that all that people
dies deservedly.
Blow their brains off, pull out their eyes,
that you're all reds.
Violence!, kill them mercilessly
Violence! Massacre and Annihilation
 
Mosquito brain and iron muscles,
the justice avenger.
Compared to this hero, knock-kneed looks
the affeminate of Rambo.
 
From the henhouse, an old woman
is spitting popcorn
A woman yells, the fuss is made,
they hit her in the cleveage
Her husbands yells, 'Get down I saw you',
the great mess is made.
Justice! Everyone uproars
Justice! Don't hide that is worse
 
Death to the troublemakers, that one doesn't save
this is the right time
All the audiance roars and fights
in the club and the stands
Blood on the screen, bloood on the aisles,
guts and livers.
Blood! The specatator demands
Blood! He'll get in large amounts
 
They call the guards, the asylum men come,
ambulances and firemen
And though the people is very hurt,
they look excited
We'll never forget what we enjoyed
and how much fun we had.
Violence!, kill them mercilessly
Violence! Massacre and Annihilation
 
Mosquito brain and iron muscles,
the justice avenger.
Compared to this hero, knock-kneed looks
the affeminate of Rambo.
 
Violence! Revenge! Justice! Blood! Violence!
Long live the seventh art.
 

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