12.10.2017
Dispersion
I got lost in myselfCause I was a labyrinth
And today, as I feel me.
It's in longing of me
I'd passed through my life
A dreaming wild star
Yearning to overstep,
I badly was aware of my life...
For me, it is always yesterday,
I have not tomorrow either today
The time that elapses to others,
Falls on me like yesterday.
(The sunday in Paris
Reminds me the disappeared one
That was thrilled
The sunday in Paris:
Cause sunday is family
Is well-being, is simplicity,
And those who look the beauty
Haven't well-being either family)
Poor guy of yearnings...
You, yes, you were someone!
And that was also why
You deepened me into yearnings.
The great golden bird
Flapped its wings toward the sky
But refrained them satisfied
In seeing that it reached the sky.
As a lover cries
Thus I cry for myself
I was an unsteady lover
That betrayed himself
I can't feel the space I enclose
Either lines I protect:
If I look me in a mirror, I'm miss it
I can't find me in what I project.
I come back into myself
But it tell me nothing at all!
I've got my soul shrouded,
Dried out inside me.
I didn't lose my soul,
I got it lost
So I mourn about life,
The death of my life
Longingly I recall
A kindly partner
That in my whole life
I've never seen... but I remember
Her golden mouth
And her fainted body,
In a lost breath
That comes in gilding evening.
(My great longings
Are of what I've never took over
Oh, how I'm gonna missing
The dreams I'd never dreamed!)
I feel that my death
My whole dispersion
Exist far away in the north
In a big central city.
I see my last day,
Painted on rolls of tobacco
And all blue of agony
In shadow and yonder I disappear
Tenderness like yearning
I kiss my white hands...
I am love and mercy
In face of these white hands...
Sad hands, long and beautiful
That was meant to give...
Nobody else wanted to shake...
Sad hands, long and beautiful...
I have pity of me,
Poor ideal boy...
What lacked me after all?
A link? A footprint? Woe of me!
The twilight came down to my soul
I've been someone that has passed by
I'll be, But I'm not anyway
I don't live, I dream the twilight.
Alcohol of a autumn sleep
Pierced me vaguely
spreading me dormant
In an autumn breeze
I'd lost the death and life
And crazy, I don't get out of my mind
The lived hour flees
I follow it, but I don't remain...
Dismantled castle,
Winged maneless lions...