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Shake with fear, Ded Morozes!

Jingle bells, jingle bells, the snow is gently falling
Poor Ded Moroz1is hitchhiking with his bag on
He mumbles angrily: 'What a lousy day
Who would have thought that my sled will blow a tire?'
 
Ded Moroz is here, his cloak is snow
His shoes are ice, go to hell
I saw a long time ago that his boots are wearing out
Is that why he has three socks on?
 
Ded Moroz is cold, he's human too
He takes a shot2he doesn't dare to drink more
The boss is watching from the edge of the cloud
He'll be fired if he doesn't watch out
 
Jingle bells, jingle bells, I wonder who is it?
Ded Moroz fell on his face on the white snow
He dropped his bag, everything spilled out
He cursed so bad even his beard blushed right away
 
I've put my boots in the window3
But Ded Moroz, I know for sure that it's hopeless
Nothing will be in it, that's all hogwash
How could you put the chocolate in it through the glass?
 
Well, hello my boy! - Hi!
What do you wish to get from Ded Moroz?
Maybe a new bike? - No
Then a new boat? - No
A new train? - No
Well, what do you want then? - A new daddy
 
He's got a secret that nobody knows
Even Ded Moroz is affected by inflation costs
Everybody will get less this year
Because oats are expensive at the reindeer station
 
It's an old line: 'Give a huge greeting
Let me sit down because I'm tired'
Everybody believed his story
But the krampus4carries his bag for him
 
Jingle bells, jingle bells, Ded Moroz is coming
The krampuses are laughing because he's covered in snow
His beard has got oil on it, he's very angry
He has just adjusted the ignition on the poor reindeer
 
Jingle bells, jingle bells, come here officer
Ded Moroz has been robbed viciously
His bag is lost, his beard is torn
Ded Moroz stands in cotton pants in minus ten Celsius degrees5
 
'Sit here, next to me, my boy and sing something nice to Ded Moroz
A beautiful Ded Moroz song, like: 'I adore you hollow ashtray..'6
 
Jingle bells, jingle bells, Ded Moroz is coming
The krampuses are laughing because he's covered in snow
His beard has got oil on it, he's very angry
He has just adjusted the ignition on the poor reindeer
 
Jingle bells, jingle bells, come here officer
Ded Moroz has been robbed viciously
His bag is lost, his beard is torn
Ded Moroz stands in cotton pants in minus ten Celsius degrees
 

• 1. 'A legendary figure similar to Saint Nicholas, Father Christmas and Santa Claus who has his roots in Slavic mythology.'
  During the communist era in Hungary, the leadership couldn't allow a religious figure - Santa Claus - to be the one who brings the kids candy, so they've replaced him with Ded Moroz (Uncle Frost).
• 2. In the sense of 'To drink a small amount of alcohol out of a shot glass.'
• 3. For Ded Moroz to put the candy in.
• 4. 'A horned, anthropomorphic figure, in Alpine folklore, who during the Christmas season scares children who have misbehaved, assisting Saint Nicholas.'
• 5. 14 degrees Fahrenheit.
• 6. This is a reference to the parody of a Hungarian song 'Szomorú szamuráj' by the Ámokfutók.

Cotton-Eyed Joe

Let's go, the prairie is best during the day
Because Joe is wearing contacts
The prairie is dark, complains Joe
He sat on a cactus, because he can't se well
 
Let's go to the bar every evening
And check out Mary's body
The candles burn down, it's kissing time
Jack has kissed Joe
 
He was sitting mostly but standing too1
The sheriff has found an Indian2in his beer
He was sitting at the bottom of the glass for almost a week
Because copperskin3is heavier than alcohol
 
After about 20 minutes the heroic Indian
Finally sobered up
And cursed his situation
That the stupid sheriff is drinking beer - not rum
 
Let's go, cowboys are really strong
Up to this point, Joe used to be the gun duel hero
Your pistol isn't firing, what's the problem, Joe?
Yesterday a horse has stepped on my balls
 
Let's go! The prairie is wild during the winter
Because the oats get frozen within the poor horse
The wind is whistling and the snow is falling
The biggest commodity is the deep-frozen horse!
 
While I was preparing to go to Szekszárd4I didn't know
How far the Wild West is
Then an Indian steps out in front of me and offers me
A háromzelés5quartz arrow - Well! Oof!
 
When I reached a wigwam, a woman was waiting for me
She smelled of a strange cologne
And then the chief whispered to me while pinching his nose
That her name is Dirty Sock
 
The scent quickly traversed the Wild West
It may have even reached Szekszárd
But one thing is for sure, Buffalo Bill6got angry
Because all the buffalo fell over
 
Let's go to the bank, we need dough
But the bank robbers just took it
The gangsters have the check
Joe did it but that doesn't rhyme so let's say Jack
 
Come on, why is the cowboy hiding
Prairie Mary's tears are flowing
Her father is angry, the horse is laughing
Your condom had a hole in it, Joe
 
Mary came during the night, because she's very ugly during the day
Even her father doesn't know yet who should he shoot to death
His daughter or the seducer, who now became a father
Knowing Prairie Mary this wasn't a crime but a heroic act!
 
Ooh Mary from the east, ugh she's so hideous
She's measuring her weight, the scale gets bent
Get lost Mary, begs her the priest thusly
Because if you are here the sun won't come up
 
Let's go, the cowboy is a hero up until
It's discovered that he's married
What's the holdup daddy, where is the salt?
Mary seems a bit agitated, Joe
 
She was peppery, she was peppery
That you should take out the garbage, she told you twenty times
But you never listen, it's a huge mistake, Joe
Because compared to Mary even a scalp would be better
 
Run Joe, run Joe
Because after you comes an ashtray flying
Don't cry to me, because I don't care
You're a dumbass for marrying her!
 

• 1. This could be a euphemism for him having an erection.
• 2. Native American.
• 3. 'Offensive slang for Native Americans.'
• 4. A small city in southern Hungary.
• 5. I don't know what his means.
• 6.