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30.04.2021

Astronauts

Would you have felt happy if I had eaten up
curry and rice for supper today?
(But) you said with a very frowning face
I didn't have to try.
 
I wish I (had courage to)
hit back when I'm bullied.
Then you may
show me some more smiles.
 
I wish I lived alone
and I wouldn't get you into my troubles.
But then I would spend my life
without knowing you.
 
If I were a liar,
would you scold me?
Many 'if's like these (vaguely) appear
to me when I'm (alone) in my room.
 
(And) the days of nothing
get cracks
and many 'if's are leaking
from the cracks.
 
Now I close my eyes,
my ears and start to walk forward.
I can't hear your voice
and can't see your smiles, but it's fine.
 
I wish
I could erase
only memories I hate
from my head.
 
If I were an honest person,
would you believe this was my last (lie to you)?
(Then) I'm sure you would show me a smile.
I know it all, don't I?
 
I've tried to tell you many times,
but my words wouldn't reach you and 'that's strange'.
I (just) want to come to you (but I can't).
But my knees tremble (as if saying) 'You deserve it'.
 
If I were alive,
Someday I would sing you a song I've made for you,
the song I've never sung you
because I feel embarrassed.
 
I hope the song reaches you someday.
 
Now I close my eyes,
my ears and start to walk forward.
I can't hear your voice
and can't see your smiles, but it's fine.
 
Now I close my eyes,
my ears and start to walk forward.
I can't hear your voice
and can't see your smiles, but it's fine.
 
30.04.2021

A Palette Full of You

In a palette of aluminum foil
30.04.2021

Q

At a loss of what to do, say I threw a fit.
At a loss of what to do, say I gave a reason.
I do not know that whatever I do is fine.
I do know that I can do nothing about it.
 
If I repeat that this won't work,
I will repeat that that won't work.
I'm with the shadow you cast that runs into,
Well, the sunset that became muddled.
 
Let's make a promise. We linked pinkies.
 
Come on, strum it, a song of proof.
At, well, the part where we knew that
Answer that was now illuminated by
Infinite questions that were being sifted out.
 
I counted my goodbyes.
Your hand that comes to mind.
I gave up all thoughts of your
Unshapely back and kicked it up.
 
When we tried to indirectly catch
Our emotions that had curved,
Small doubts floated upon, well,
The muddled palms of our hands.
 
If I repeat that this won't work,
I will repeat that that won't work.
The color (form) of my eyelids that thrust at,
Well, the sunrise that became muddled.
 
We were always by each other's side.
 
Come on, disturb it, as an impulse.
At, well, the part where we knew,
Since I could find but the lies
Within the words we spewed out now.
 
The thoughts that filled our hearts
That we could but see
Cry and lament hard
As they can't be words.
 
I counted my goodbyes.
Your hand that comes to mind.
I vividly remembered
The drops that rode your eyelids.
 
How to forget the 'now',
The answer to, well, this song,
How to walk tomorrow,
Teach them to us.
 
Come on, strum it, a song of proof.
My sadness that was sifted out,
That answer that you realize now,
Embrace them forever.
 
Thank you. Good night.
Congrats to you.
Goodbye to us.
Best regards here on out, 'kay?
 
The answer I repeat,
Every goodbye,
The emotions I realized,
Embrace nothing but them.
 
The answer I repeat,
Every goodbye,
The emotions I realized,
Embrace nothing but them.
 
30.04.2021

Someone Who Sings Songs

Popular songs float to the brim...lalala.
Ignorant of their names, I...
 
Softly drew in my breath
 
As it drew an arc, as it pierced the sky,
As someone's song spurred me
To run to its source, and where I ended up
I don't know, it's just that
In my eyes, in my eyes,
That shadow, in the descending dusk,
Looked so much like a certain
Someone's smile...
 
Laugh and cry, float and fall.
 
Sing and weep. Goodbye. See you again.
 
We must've known it all along:
 
As it drew the line, as it drew the circle,
And there's where all my unanswerable thoughts
Sped towards, and where they wound up
I don't know, it's just that
In my hands, into my hands,
The beads of water shooting from the roof
Looked like a certain
Someone's tears...
 
Finally found it—it's me!
My changed form was so ugly, see,
That I nudged it away with my naked foot.
 
I drew a picture, I drew a picture,
And all the words I couldn't form
Drew an arc and slashed the clouds
And fled back to someone's place
And I ran after the sky, I followed the sky,
And in the dark of night, the moon
Bore a profile resembling a certain
Someone I know...
 
Someone who sings songs...