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Disgusting

I'm present, I'm in sight
The shame, the shame, the shame, the shame, the shame, the shame, the shame, the shame, the shame, the shame, the shame
Don't find me anymore Don't evolve me anymore
Strangle the me in you in secret, because I'm sure it's sick
 
You look as if you've given up on everything
One bad word and you get hurt again
'I wish you'd go away' I repeat in my brain
But the voice is unmistakably my own
 
'Thank you so much for your lovely smile today.'
I've been stung by the cares posted under the mirror
I feel like I'm the only one who doesn't belong in this city
I secretly bit my tongue and survived in shame
 
A taut, designated bag, clutched to my chest.
Hiding the monster that is constantly stirring deep inside my body
Today, I'm just barely keeping my human form
 
I cover my ears to the sound of the world getting bigger and bigger
You couldn't hide it, so you jumped off a few minutes ago
I was so scared, so scared
 
You existed, you were in my sight
The shame, the shame, the shame, the shame, the shame, the shame, the shame, the shame, the shame, the shame, the shame, the shame
Don't find me anymore Don't evolve me anymore
And strangle the me in you in secret, because I'm sure it's disgusting
 
You're always looking for a reason why you're incompetent
Your whole body was screaming for you to live so you could die
You can't say, 'I'll live instead.'
'I'd rather die in your place.' It's a cowardly wish that won't go away.
 
I don't want people to hate me, so I never say a word.
But it's hard for me to think that I'm okay
It hurts to silence my loudmouth heart
I'm still struggling, I'm still struggling, but it won't go away
 
We talk to each other, every day we are exposed
The edge of someone's memory I'm sick of me
Don't admire me anymore Don't despise me anymore
Strangle the me in you in secret, for I'm sure he's sick
 
I dive from 50 metres into the air
I'm shaken out of my dream when I reach the nearest station
I see a familiar face in front of me
Where is the reason for the shaking shoulders and laughing?
 
My heart is freezing, I muster up the strength to hold back the tears
If no one likes me, then what can I do but throw them away?
I can't save myself, I'm such a failure
 
I'm here, I'm in sight
I'm the shame, I'm the breath, I'm the disgust
Don't find me anymore, don't evolve anymore
And strangle the me in you in secret, because I'm sure he's sick