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11.10.2021

If I'm honest

In the end, we came here
Because we didn't know what to do or where
Else we would go
You didn't feel fear
I like that you don't care about anything
And you never escape
But you were already pale
Let's go in the sun to talk
 
For long, I've done everything wrong
And extinguished my flame
But nothing is over yet
And neither of us have slept away
If the world would end a hundred years from now
As they say
We could disappear knowing
That everything ended in its time
 
If I'm being honest
I wasn't going to be this faithful
But when I woke up today, I knew that
I won't change without you, I'm antisocial
I like how you look after me
But not up on anyone
I'm more sure of this than anything
Let's leave before you find faith
 
For long, I've done everything wrong
And extinguished my flame
But nothing is over yet
And neither of us have slept away
If the world would end a hundred years from now
As they say
We could disappear knowing
That everything ended in its time
 
Once when I was walking to the station
I thought I saw you
Once when I was walking to the station
I thought I saw you
Once when I was walking to the station
I thought I saw you
It was someone else
But for the whole day, I felt reformed
 
For long, I've done everything wrong
And extinguished my flame
But nothing is over yet
And neither of us have slept away
If the world would end a hundred years from now
As they say
We could disappear knowing
That everything ended in its time
 
12.03.2019

I Can't Be Changed

I usually don't get
What they try to say to me
And I have no clue
If someone is right for me
When you avoid the gaze of others
You can't show off about your friends
And when you talk you walk on a familiar razors edge
 
I don't know how to laugh, when it's wished for
I'm a stone of a wasteland
When I'm told to cry
 
I can't be changed
Not by me nor any other
But at some point you'll meet me at halfpoint
I'll stay to wait for you
Here where everything ends at its time
 
I usually don't want to go
Nor talk back
What I try to block
Do I have a fear of the end?
When you look at everything from afar
You won't be the first one to be blinded
But it wont be good for you either
If you never free yourself
 
I don't know how to laugh, when it's wished for
I'm a stone of a wasteland
When I'm told to cry
 
I can't be changed
Not by me nor any other
But at some point you'll meet me at halfpoint
I'll stay to wait for you
Here where everything ends at its time
 
How are you?
Good I guess
You look like you're somehow
How do I say it, out of it?
Oh ok, okay well aha
How are you?
I have to go
See you again
Smile a little
Yeah just like that
Yeah sorry, I mean
I don't know what to say
To this either
 
I can't be changed
Not by me nor any other
But at some point you'll meet me at halfpoint
I'll stay to wait for you
Here where everything ends at its time (x2)
 
11.01.2019

Over the graves

The water was clear
and the water was deep
when you touched the bottom,
for a moment, it was good.
 
I got a pike
you cut out its heart
when I made fish soup,
everything was ruined
 
There were too many onions,
there were too few graves,
the speed was too high,
you slowed down the pace
 
The dock rotted
voles procreated underground
the handle came off in a hand
Finland lost on television
 
You slowed down the pace
you slowed down the pace
you slowed down the pace
I drove down the road
I drove away
I drove at 200 kph
to Joensuu square
 
At the square is a crowd
at the square is a band
in the night, you dream
of a boat tour
 
In the morning you watch
the opposite shore
our tent
has been left under the power station
 
You slow down the pace
you slow town the pace
you slow down the pace
I drive down the motorway
and at the end, off of it
before I make a circle
in Joensuu Square
 
You still slow down
you cut the onions
you cry for the market
you once left
I drive recklessly to the south
I drive faster
I drive over 200 kph
into the wall of Stockmann
 
And I leave the Saab
and you put down the knife
I run over the graves
I run to the seashore
to the Tallinn ferry
to the sun deck
you fall asleep, I rise
to the white rail
 
The water was clear
and the water was deep
when you touched the bottom,
for a moment, it was good
 
02.11.2018

A laughing cod fish skull

I said look how beautiful the sky is
You responded, there's nine dimensions plus time
I showed you how well I can play dead
You said I shouldn't hold my breath
 
In the patio we could hear the neighbours laughing
I punched the wall with my fist when you turned to Liisankatu*
It started to rain and my dress got wet
I notice now that my fist has stopped bleeding
 
I sit and wonder how it so happened
That yesterday I was given an old Volvo
And it's working again
I will drive so far away from here I will not be on the map anymore
 
Clutch first, it's going well
When I reached the brick factory I shouted a goodbye to you
Now a bunch of reindeer appear on the road, lazing about
And because my Volvo doesn't have a horn
 
I sit and wonder how it so happened
That yesterday I was given an old Volvo
And it's almost working again
I have come so far I am not on the map anymore
 
And on the shore of the Arctic Ocean I find a laughing cod fish skull
On the shore I find a laughing cod fish skull
 
In the letter you wrote how are you doing dear
I didn't answer, I had so many Arctic Ocean errands to run
 
You wrote another letter, I think you forgot to send it
I answered anyway that I could eat something else than fish for a change
 
And I sit and wonder how it so happened
That I was given an old Volvo then
It can no longer be fixed
I'll stay here and I won't be on the map anymore