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History of Ukraine in 5 minutes

Look to the left, look to the right -
It's your land, it's your state!
History is in it. It's catchy and bright.
Glory to Ukraine! - Glory to heroes!
 
At first there were no birds or fish,
And suddenly there was a big bang,
Stars and furry cats appeared,
Shortly, everything you need to be happy.
Once upon a time, Trypillians lived on these lands-
Vincent Khvoyka will write more about this,
And Homer wrote about the Cimmerians -
Not the one from the cartoon, but a little different.
Then the Eastern Slavs appear:
Polians, Northeners and other Drevlyans.
When enemies come, they would fight them,
If there're no enemies, they would fight each other.
Even Apostle Andrew, once looked at this place
and said 'A nice city will be built on the Dnieper by
Kiy, Shchek, Khoryv and their sister Lybid'
In her honor there's a river and a metro station.
Back then there was no internet or radio stations,
The kings were bored and looked for something to do:
In any incomprehensible situation,
they went to war with Byzantium.
There they learned to fear the Lord
And sing in church 'God forgive me!'
Then Volodymyr the Great repented,
got rid of Perun and christened the Rus.
Each king had his own feature:
Svyatoslav the Brave fought to the end,
Yaroslav the Wise wrote wise books,
And Monomakh listened to his mom and always wore a hat.
But before that, it was not that bad,
Because then the Mongolian horde broke into here,
But what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger.
King Daniel fought valiantly,
Only no man is an island, of course,
and the Lithuanian principality grew little by little.
Poland and its lords threated from the West,
and the Moscow horde from the East,
The Tatars came in too and as they sing in the song:
'Ukraine was stunned that there was nothing to live for...'
Here, as desperate as predators,
Cossack warriors raised,
Until Father Bohdan made a great mistake
made friends with the Moscow king and believed in his loyalty.
But Cossack blood is not for showing off:
Dovbush, Karmelyuk, Zaliznyak, Honta
Fought for the fate of the common people
Because the Cossack kind is eternal!
Power is not only in sabers and guns,
Remeber, friends, about Petro Mohyla:
He founded the Academy to teach everyone
And I must say what pretty girls study there!
And who is the first hippo in Europe? Of course,
Grigory Savich Skovoroda
Pushkin couldn't even say a word yet,
And the Ukrainian writer Ivan Kotlyarevskyy has already written his Aeneid.
 
Look to the left, look to the right -
It's your land, it's your state!
History is in it. It's catchy and bright.
Glory to Ukraine! - Glory to heroes!
 
The nineteenth century. What do we see?
Serfdom in Ukraine, tsar in St. Petersburg
No Cossack Sich, no Hetmanate,
It was here that the Great Kobzar was born
It was his will to see how brothers hug each other
he said 'Be open to the world and don't shun your own. Fight - fight it out, make lve, Ukrainian girls, but not with moscovites'
Imperial crud got mad to the death:
they created Valuev circular and Ems decrees
that shot our language like the bullets,
They wanted to kill it, but it will never happen!
Marko Vovchok, Mykhaylo Staritskyy,
Hulak Artemovskyy, Nechuy-Levyts'kyy,
Hrinchenko, Stefanyk, Rudanskyy, Hrebinka,
Franko, Kotsyubynskyy and Lesya Ukrayinka
knew how to use the word adn made it as strong as hard iron -
The moscow imperial clowns still can't sleep!
Twentieth century: here you are -
the First World Wat begins.
Everyone stood for fight with each other,
Empires divide Ukraine between each other.
Vynnychenko, Petlyura, Makhno, Skoropadskyy
Were busy with the quarrels and suspicions to each other,
In the meantime, the communist plague came in,
Here is when the fun begins, my brother
There are many things to remember and to mention:
A number of shot dissidents, red terror,
And a tender gratitude from 'the older brother'
a multimillion genocide
But what people's memory learned out of the fire
To continue the fight, and here a few facts about that:
Knights of the glorious Cold Yar
And the feat of the immortal heroes of Kruty
New sneaky problems came one by one
Hitler came along
Then, the Kharkiv citizens' patience broke down
They came up with a tank - the best of the best tanks!
T-34 - beauty and horror!
They fought all the way to Berlin,
And in Volyn and the Carpathian forests,
They fought on two rebel fronts.
Nazis were banished - the communists came,
Death doesn't ask which side are you on,
Defeated again, or the winning ones,
A sad holy evening in 1946
No beef or pork - only Stalin on the wall.
Is this the end of history? No!
 
Gorbachov, a Ukrainian, once came
And destroyed the people's prison. Well, what?
The freedom has come, the freedom is desired,
Willful freedom, promised freedom,
It was just too early to rejoice
Because lice are not so foreign as their nits.
Molotovs flew, tires burned,
The tyrant's pork belly was twisting,
The gap was dug by the black abysses
The Heavenly Hundred flew into the sky.
And again, from the east, the soldiers fade
The Kremlin freak is complex.
But neither glory nor freedom die in Ukraine
Fate will always smile towards us,
Therefore the blue sky will be rye,
And what's next is up to you!
 
Look to the left, look to the right -
It's your land, it's your state!
History is in it. It's catchy and bright.
Glory to Ukraine! - Glory to heroes!
 

Granules

l
Indians came together in a dance
Early morning the winter came to an end
Roundelay - it's when we in a circle dance
In this case- I'm an Indian
 
Everything interests me, everything bothers me
If to keep one's ear open, I can hear a bit
I have a sense of smell, I guess
I'm returning to the forest on chicken legs
 
I'm interested, if bonfire add to your believe within?
Does keeps you warm in winter bear skin?
What did they were afraid off, what they were waiting for?
What did they expected, what they are pretended to be?
 
How is it? To live near wigwam?
What are your daddy hunting, what meal are cooking your mum?
My brain is in a state of prostration
Not enough information
 
We were melting like ice granules
And drops of winter were melting too
 
lla
The bears woke up in their lairs
Spring has come. It lifted the siege
So, I look at the sky with bear eyes
What are those spots floating by?
 
I'm interested in everything: what, where, when and how?
How does it taste, my bear paw?
The picture is sluggish, I'm loosing connection
Is it so, or not so. it's only my imagination
 
llb
Look, the birds are returning home
How do they know, that exactly here is the road
And how do they overcome their winter sadness?
Do they understand, that looking down is God's business?
 
If you're in the air, who are trying to be?
And how do you know, that you possess this strength?
What else to dream, when your wings are spread
What are you feeling? what are you feeling?
 
lll
There where the snow was-black water in the shape of your feet.
If only it could talk, your footprint,
I would have time to ask, what will happen to us
In those, who were before everyone else
 
The spring is waiting for a sign to begin it's chores
But why wait, what are we waiting for?
My brain is in a state of prostration
Not enough information
 

Lyuba

Sixth floor. Blue door. Ring-ring!
Who's there? - It's me! Good evening, everybody
The flowers, the cake, the kiss on the cheek
I have a business with your daughter, yeah!
The fate knocked our foreheads together
I've already bought the rings. And then the dad says: stop!
Before we start talking about the mother-in-law's size
Show us some blood type certificate
Lyuba, Lyuba, your A-type blood
Brought our love to its end
 
II
Lyuba-Lyuba-Lyubon'ka, what happened, my dove
They tear us apart because of some blood type
I'm sitting there, lethargic, knock my head on the door
My blood is Type B, her blood is Type A
I'll go home now. Who's there? - It's me!
What have you done, mom'n'dad!
Dad is a doctor, he knew right away
He knew but he didn't tell me that we couldn't be together
If that's just a dream (dream), then on count 3-4
Get away, everyone (everyone), I'll open my eyes.
What was I thinking before, where was my head
Oh, fuckkety-fuck, Lyuba, I think I'm gonna kick the bucket
Lyuba, Lyuba, your A-type blood
Brought our love to its end
 
III
So...
A-type blood
Brought our love to its end
I told Lyuba that I’m sorry
Se La Vi, Asta la vista
I took the rings and went walking around town.
First floor. White door. Ring-ring!
Who's there? - It's me! Good evening, everybody
The flowers, the cake, the kiss on the cheek
I have a business with your daughter, yeah!
Lyuba, Lyuba, your A-type blood
Brought our love to its end
 

Drove by

I'm from the city, great city,
I will be here, till I have the ability.
This world- made from your features- that's all.
How much to pay, to live through this day?
How much to contribute and where to bring it?
What to give away, so not to know evil.
Many causes and mountain of words,
Few days and few heads.
To the people I walked, about everyone to much talked.
And dirty became the snow, I have looked and smoked,
I ate the ash and somehow didn't grieve.
I've pretended, as if I felt the laughter.
 
Chorus:
We were riding, riding, and the building with the roofs,
Told us that we've drove by -and that's all!
You won't be returning
There, where you are going- that's all!
That's all!..
 
And you said, that you don't get enough attention,
At wallpaper I'm starring.
Way of life, well-being, you've believed-waited,
That we are against the things.
Whatever was holding- couldn't keep it,
The people here- of flimsy construction.
Under the ecstasy I place a wash bowl.
How are you? - All right.- See you.
 
Chorus:
 
Many causes and mountain of words,
Like soap I've send recitative.
Didn't get there, and I've burned down, of course.
This bridge for those who run away from city's.
Keep quiet, because the fast began.
This world- all for it content,
Also-we are.
 
Chorus: (x 2)
 

And you are what?

Holiday! Dear ones, I congratulate you
We won the ones that we had in china
World champions - yellow and blue
Khortitsa chopped up Shao-Lin
 
In the quarter-finals we beat Guadalupe
Then Argentina fell on their butts
Batista had cried, and I rusted
Ha-ha, almost broke a jaw
 
Sheva! And! Krytishij for Taras
Each of us pulls the ointment for him
As he scored, he signed Peace
Immediate economic growth in the country went up
 
Then quickly everyone becomes rich
That is, stupid, in glasses and puzati
And how had I led the MinCutProm
The anthem of Ukraine was sung the group - Korn
 
And you are what? - I tell you
And you are what? - I never lie
And you are what? - I give a tooth
Come on - give! give more- I'll add to it!
 
And yesterday we finally got a Grammy
This is one of our numerous prizes
They traveled for half a year for dogs
Ladies in dresses, boys in coats
 
We go out on stage, say - Yes!
Hollywood's in shock - what is this?
Then I'm just so: quiet! Stop!
The cosmos will be either ours or nobody's
 
And I said plainly - Hollywood, Peace!
UT-1 staged a telescope
So that's how I hold back myself
I saw my grandmother and her kum Anna
 
Immediately after that, I signed Peace
I see Britney Spears coming toward me
Before her, she carries of her two octaves
Guys, she says, I myself am from Poltava
 
How are you there? Sometimes it snows, sometimes it rains
Then I invite you home for some borsch
What are we, we are what- agreed
They took a taxi, drove to Britney
 
Oh, the wild geese flew
She did sing, tears fell on the beads
As always, in the kiosk the girls ran about
And I lent her five dollars
 

The Cup

1.
In the moon-park, the cabs were disconcerted
All the slides are disassembled, did such a job
And such a bastard dripped from the sky
The clouds asked - what called this out to yourself?
 
They met in April, not minors
In July, linden leaves, in August, they depart
It is the same with us: it's worse in the future
Eased the speed of the pedal, alone and the brakes
 
I 'm lonely, a fifth cup of tea
The second bottle of rum, I'm silent
I hesitate, I'm wandering about the cafe
I'll be quit and shout out
 
2
My whole life is all told by taxi drivers
We went beyond the city to someone you know
Lying on the lawn in mutual captivity
And your eye glasses smiled for us all
 
Someone there was a DJ, faked an MC
He called us a taxi, then canceled it for everyone
Princesses hit the wheels with stress
You laughed, I thought - okay, blin
 
3
Tari-bars, two cafes, three bars
The end for love and sat down my phone
I knew that he would be the last time
Rings the neighbors ringtone 'Waltz Boston'
 
Give me a call, let her say
What all can happen, all you need is Love
It was necessary to make love now
The bus is for nothing, not sure I'm gone
 

I must go

Barely heard, somewhere there
Winds and waves are sending greetings to cities
Over there, in the sea, mountains, along them bridges
I must go, they are waiting for me
 
|
The world is a theater, we are the actors, who play
Empty dialog after dialog, in conversations we make
Empty talk on the weather when walk
About mother nature, guys, its OK
 
Packaged smile, 100 times a day
As the last standing Yankee I'll say- OK
Hello-see you, see you- see you later- hello my friend
With the rest of the words we wrote the last testament
 
Shaking my head, ad-adding -all right
Sense- zero point, zero tenth kilobyte
Empty word doesn't add any weight
Zero plus zero, just the same, we've nothing left
 
We run from ourselves- caught up with our sins
We've pushed the pawns-blood got cold
You want celebration- sign up for magazines
Said hello and left, there was rock n roll
 
||
Someone calm, playing us in the game of backgammon
Its not fare, whoever he could be
Only truth I've wanted so to say from now on
Wanted- change my mind, said it, but forgot it
 
And in the news something about the oil again
About the state of the highways, the gas
Something important stays behind the frame
Something important walking by us
 
All of my hopes, all of your questions
All will rise up, here is the final
All, that was, will stay in the memories
All is OK, change the channel
 
|||
In all the seas, In all the galaxies
To find a way-the practice exist
Its hard to explain, why is it main point, of course
One thing in our heads, something else in our words
 
But somewhere there is a place under the sky
There, the voices do not walk through the wires
I will remember about you, for now, goodbye
In all the seas, in all the galaxies
 

People, People, Billions Of Them

People, people. There are billions of them. Blimey, billions of them.
Kind, strong, satisfied, rich. All very nice and I'm a cool guy.
 
I
Attention, youth, Angelina Acorn1
Is representing her new gutter.
Among guests there is Dear Vegetable2
Holding herself Christina Cholera.3
 
Next to them there's Jennifer Guy4
And her boyfriend, and her boyfriend's boyfriend.
50 Kopiyok5, the trouble-maker.
Nobody was waiting for him and he's already here.
 
II
Almost forgot to call for Ruslana.
Which one the guys? You mean 'the girls'? The 'shi-ki-ri-ki-tana'.6
Mel Of Plaster7 is her big boss.
They jog together every morning.
 
Jam And Roquai8 are the last Jedi
Having the word 'banzai'9 in each eye.
When they dance, dogs keep silence,
Kids don't cry, stick out of the windows.
 
III
Rio de Zhytomyr, Vinnyts'azuela,
Los Alushta, New Kherson10
Experts in rotations, mutations.
Everything goes dark before my eyes of so many very important persons.
 
Lauras Balauras, Făt-Frumoses11
Lyans Kosyndzyans, Gypsys, sailors.
Shed tears, clap your hands,
Michael With Sex12 is riding a pony.
 
Chorus 1:
Don't stand, don't stand, jump!
Don't stand, jump!
Don't stand, jump!
 
Chorus 2:
People, people. There are billions of them. Blimey, billions of them.
Kind, strong, satisfied, rich. All very nice and I'm a cool guy.
 

• 1. Hereinafter some famous people's names are transformed into Ukrainian.
  Jolie sounds a bit like 'zholud'' which means 'acorn' in Ukrainian. So Angelina Jolie (actress) became Angelina Acorn.
• 2. Milla Jovovich (actress). 'Myly' means 'dear' and 'ovoch' means 'vegetable' in Ukrainian
• 3. Christina Aguilera (singer)
• 4. Jennifer Lopez (singer and actress). 'Guy' is 'khlopets' in Ukrainian, which sounds a bit like Lopez
• 5. 50 Cent (rapper). 'Kopiyka' is a Ukrainian coin, 1/100 of the national currency
• 6. Ruslana is a Ukrainian singer, the winner of the 2004 Eurovision Song Contest.
  Usually boys are named Ruslan, not girls.
  'Shi-ki-ri-ki-tana' is a line from Ruslana's winning song.
• 7. Mel Gibson (actor). 'Of plaster' is 'iz hipsu' in Ukrainian, which sounds a bit like Gibson
• 8. Jamiroquai (a music band)
• 9. Japanese war-cry
• 10. Rio de Janeiro, Venezuela, Los Angeles, New York. Some parts are substituted for Ukrainian city names
• 11. Balaur is dragon-like creature and Făt-Frumos is a knight-hero in Romanian folklore
• 12. Probably, Michael Jackson. 'With sex' is 'z seksom' in Ukrainian which sounds a bit like Jackson