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21.03.2021

Only if I had

[Chorus:]
Only if I had forgotton to make
even one of my mistakes,
would I have taken a direction different from my path?
When I stopped and my eyes filled with tears,
with them I watered the flower you are smiling at.
 
If I hadn't grown up right there,
if I had not understood from a young age what poverty was,
if I had not been punished facing the wall,
would I have started killing and stealing?
 
From the roof of the block, if I hadn't stopped,
if I hadn't disguised myself as Superman,
if my mother hadn't sighted me, then - bye.
I would be just a memory on a sad day.
 
If I was an excellent student without absences
and if I had read at least one book in summer,
would Toto be the same person now,
would he search for gold in foreign countries?
 
If I hadn't failed, would I have learned?
Could my mistakes be my choice?
Could I have entrolled something and studied it?
Could everyone be understanding my jokes?
 
[Chorus:]
Only if I had forgotton to make
even one of my mistakes,
would I have taken a direction different from my path?
When I stopped and my eyes filled with tears,
with them I watered the flower you are smiling at.
 
If I hadn't been a child of divorced parents
if I didn't know what stepfather is,
would I be a child of ones bent down
and know that in love there is an expiration date?
 
Many times, only if I had kept quiet,
if I hadn't always chased the top in my life,
if I had used other words to start with,
would they have understood me otherwise?
 
Could it be what it is now?
Tell me, God, there's no way I can hear you.
But I know that's your decision, so
if they must, let them see my ...
 
If they hadn't noticed me in the red tracksuit
and I hadn't drowned in whiskey,
now, on going out and returning, every day,
would I have the two most beautiful smiles?
 
[Chorus: x2]
Only if I had forgotton to make
even one of my mistakes,
would I have taken a direction different from my path?
When I stopped and my eyes filled with tears,
with them I watered the flower you are smiling at.
 
13.09.2018

Strangers' smiles

There aren't many people like you left
I waste my time with the wrong ones
They only believed in labels
Ice runs through their veins
I want to find you in every line of mine
I stopped communicating with some people because of you
But now I don't have the stamina
It's too early to get up. (x2)
 
You ask where we went wrong.
I'm the one who messed it up, you didn't.
I got mixed up in my own lies.
I'm sick of it!
 
Maybe, somehow, I could tell you
But I'm too mixed up in the truth
I won't try to call you on the phone
I don't have the courage to show up to your door
You are my icon and my Madonna
But the Child has disappeared into thin air.
 
[Chorus:]
Just go now, don't let me lie to you again.
I don't even want to try to cover it up
Leave it like that, let it hurt, my heart will take it.
I won't let it show, strangers' smiles will heal the pain.
 
This is the end
And I cannot believe it.
I know there is no turning back.
How can I know when the Devil is lying in my bed and I'm holding her?
I'm sorry you had to be the one
who did a favour for the next ones.
I'll probably change and be different.
Different for another.
 
I cannot wake up to see you're gone.
But my head's a mess.
I see you everywhere.
I call everyone by your name.
I look for you in the bottom of every drink.
I don't want to hear that time heals.
Because time has stopped without you.
Now I'm smaller than a molecule.
It's like I've been hiding in my own Villa Villekulla.
 
[Chorus]
 
It's like we only love the flame.
And the wax is melting in my soul like a candle.
I mean I need to feel the pain.
I don't understand it myself.
I don't expect you to understand it.
But I caused you pain.
Without trying or wanting to.
Maybe the exact definition for people like me is 'an idiot'.
 
[Chorus x2]