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25.01.2021

Robbery and a Bouquet

One morning I noticed something
The sofa seemed more narrow than before
And it’s not like I didn’t have money to buy a bigger one
The closest furniture store is outside our neighbourhood
And just like that, I came upon a thought
That to my neighbour’s house it’s just a minute’s walk
I guess I’ll manage for the time being somehow
And so I brought with me a kitchen knife
 
If nothing’s enough to satiate my heart
Let’s go, let’s steal the whole world
Don’t pay heed to paper-thin sense of reason, hurl it all to hell
Please tell me God, if this whole world was really that kind to us all,
Then wouldn’t giving us just a small portion of that be enough?
 
One noon I came upon a thought
How I want to grant flowers to you, now on your deathbed
Money’s the last thing that I lack right now and so
Not buying a flower bouquet is not a question of budget
And just like that I noticed something
The nearest flower shop is closed today
I guess stealing will do – so I thought,
Waiting for a traffic light
 
Please smile, stop looking all prim with such a stern face
In truth, you’re not so innocent yourself
If common sense doesn’t earn you money, then rid your mind of it
I doubt people could understand each other’s pain
In a hundred years we’ll all be bones
At least today can’t we just live with our mistakes?
 
One night I grew to realise
That from now on I won’t dream again
And the thought that you'll be gone
Didn’t even cross my mind then
The flower seller at the store was so kind
And yet I can’t reproach myself for stealing
Is there a difference between robbery and a bouquet?
If so, is there something wrong with that?
 
If nothing’s enough to satiate my heart
Let’s go, let’s steal the whole world
Don’t pay heed to all the trash common sense, hurl it all to hell
Please tell me God, if this whole world was really that kind to us all,
Then wouldn’t giving us just a small portion of that be enough?
Then wouldn’t passing just a little judgement on us be enough?
 
One morning I noticed something
The world is so much more vast than I had thought
And though it’s not like effort is the thing we lack
We’re too far gone for us to wither
I thought that I would quit my job, but in the end
I can’t find peace in anything I do
So far it’s so much better for it all to end
The sofa seemed so small
 
28.07.2020

Plagiarism

'What was my cue to start music?
I wonder if it was one of my father's records?
Hearing the sounds of it felt good,
And just listening needed no effort.
 
No need for prefaces, let's just talk.
Sometime, I thought of something.
If I made this song my own, I could probably fill the void inside.
So that is why I stole.'
 
Ah, it's still not enough, all of it isn't enough.
I'm not satisfied even one bit.
At this rate I can't live on alone.
I want to know more, I want to know about love.
I want to know something beautiful enough to satisfy this heart of mine.
 
'One day, I realized that the songs that run through the city are mine.
It was natural that it would sell.
Because I stole a famous work after all!
 
This guy's an idiot. That guy's an idiot.
Everyone that sings their praises is a fool.
Crowds gather without understanding the real merit.
Well, it seems I'm probably the same'
 
Ah, something is missing.
Even though I stole so much I don't feel even a little satisfied.
Not satisfied even a bit by surface level words.
I want to know love. But I don't have enough money.
I want to know something beautiful enough to satisfy this jealousy.
 
'I wonder what my cue was to start music,
I've forgotten it now, but I remember that it wasn't greed.
It might have been something beautiful.
 
Sometime the sheep's skin must come off.
A night will come when no one looks for you.
The scenery you will see in that time, enjoy it from the bottom of your heart.
 
That's it.
With nothing left, society and love all disappear.
After losing everything and everything, the night you see must truly be beautiful,
Really, truly beautiful
So that is why I stole.'
 
Ah, it's still not enough, I want to write more.
I'm not satisfied with this sort of song.
I'm not satisfied with your abusive words.
I want to write about a love I still don't know.
I want to know something beautiful enough to satisfy this heart of mine.
 
Still not enough. Still not enough.
Still not enough. Still not enough.
Still not enough. I'm not enough.
I never understand what is missing.
Still not enough. I want to know more.
I want to know of a beautiful night that would melt this body of mine.
 
25.06.2020

Thought Crime

Are you kind to others, can you understand this heart?
I’m writing poems because it’s nice to curse people
It was my dream to appear in the morning news report one day
For that, sharpen the knife
 
The sound of hitting glass, breaking some paper,
You know that the setting sun after goodbye is beautiful
 
Akane in a crow song
This loneliness now turns into sound
The nightfall
Standing toe, burning clouds, goodbye slippery
 
I want to be recognized, I want to love
This is my dream
Give me nothing, do it fast, fill me
Do you understand this envy in a world that is kind to others?
I’m always looking for an opportunity to hit someone
 
Street light hitting with a beer bottle, the sound of a broken guitar thrown,
All the regrets that I can’t return to are so beautiful, even I understand
 
Struck by the rain of words
Fall in winter with regret
There is another smoke from behind the mountain in spring
Summer breeze slips on the cheek
 
Do you know this loneliness that is kind to others?
I don’t want to die but I can’t live, so I’m writing poems
I think abusiveness, disappointment, and disgust are my interests
I’m writing poems that hurt others
I’m writing such an empty poem
 
Your words are like drinking
Receive with both hands without a container
Someday my throat gets moist
Waiting for that time
 
Akane in a crow song
This loneliness is now transformed into poetry
Goodbye to you Akane
I wait for the night now
see you tomorrow. Mouth slips
 
20.04.2019

Songwriting and Coffee

Living on the absolute minimum, living in a small six tatami mat room
It would be great if I could live with you, that was all I was thinking of at the time
If the colour of happiness is translucent then it would be better not to see it
Today came to an end even though nothing happened
 
Living on the absolute minimum, living in a small six tatami mat room
Staring at the ceiling every day, not thinking of anything
The price of happiness is sixty thousand yen
Subtract rent it’s four thousand yen
Fish for memories from that blurry mind
 
I ended up talking about love with cold eyes
This cold coffee is also the same —
I hate it
 
I don’t understand I don’t understand
I don’t understand I don’t understand
Turn into memory, you’re becoming a bother
I don’t understand I don’t understand
I don’t understand I don’t understand
I don’t understand
That confident gait
Or how to say goodbye
 
With the smallest volume, in a room that’s gotten slightly bigger
I scribbled about the stopped gas, my memories and the coldness of the shower
If I were to sell my years I would leave two
And with that remaining I would go to that town
To fish for memories with my left over years
 
The clear weather, night festival, Sekimachi’s streetlights
Clouds, mirages, the diagonally arranged lyrics
It’s just a play on words
 
I don’t understand I don’t understand
I don’t understand I don’t understand
Turn into memory, you’re turning into a song
I don’t understand I don’t understand
I don’t understand I don’t understand
I don’t understand these methods of forgetting
Or how to use them now
 
I tried to write your poem in these cold eyes
I live every day for you now
 
While forgetting about them all — Dreams, transience, your mouth, those fingertips
Hey look, it’s about time for this song to come to an end
 
It’s finally your turn, hey
 
I don’t understand I don’t understand
I don’t understand I don’t understand
Turn into a memory, you, turn into a song
I don’t understand I don’t understand
I don’t understand I don’t understand
I don’t understand
That people can walk away
I don’t understand that it’s only natural
I don’t understand
 
19.04.2019

August, A Certain Person, Moonlight

I don’t need anything.
 
My heart was noisy, my breath caught whenever I walked
I ran from my first part time job
In my music and my life, whatever it was
Unpleasant things just kept increasing
 
A certain august, moonlight, I took off on my bike
The bridge at Higashi-Fushimi Station, Kodaira, Fujimi Street, and the shopping district
The night wind tickled at my nose, this pain in my heart must have been just my imagination
I understood that, I pretended to understand.
 
The worst, it’s the worst
Everything about me is the worst
I wanted that shape of you to remain
I suppose I’ll have to do something about these memories
 
The worst, it’s the worst
I can’t help that I felt good
It’s the worst but these lyrics themselves are
 
If my life would have ended at twenty seven then rock and roll saved me
I’m done thinking about it! I would have died any case
You don’t need anything either
 
My heart was noisy
My throat was laughably dry.
I sold my heart for the first time
Because of a heart attack or my pride, whatever it was
Maybe even because of those unpleasant things I lowered my head.
 
A certain august, I rode down that scene,
Stockholm’s open air stalls, Kiruna, Gamla Stan
Only you closed off your heart
The blueness of this sky must have been just my imagination
Smiling, with that smiling face remaining
 
It’s the worst, it’s so arrogant, the greed that you and everyone else has.
Dramatic songs and love, hey, it can’t be helped that they’re absurd.
I understood, I understood
Your life, it’s yours
This is the worst but I’ll still shout it
 
It has to be, it surely has to be
That they play rock and roll over in the that world
And not hymns
After all there is no god
None of them care, neither crimes nor errors nor criminals nor suicides nor wars or minorities
 
It’s the worst, it’s the worst, this separation is just arrogance
I’d like to bow to you
That’s the same as deception, Elma!
 
The worst, the worst it was lovely there was no way around it
I want to grieve on this dramatic night
 
The worst, it’s the worst, words are so tedious
Your life was my moonlight
Isn’t that something people commonly say?
 
The worst, it’s the worst, I couldn’t help but laugh
It’s the worst, lyrics for the sake of their sound
 
If my life would have ended at twenty seven then rock and roll saved me
I’m done thinking about it! I would have died in any case
 
The present, love, the past, dreams, memories, humming, thin eyes, night mist,
Gentleness, suffering, bouquets of flowers, melancholy, that summer, this song,
Hypocrisy, night wind, lies, you, me, blue skies, i don’t need them or anything at all.
 
19.04.2019

Let's Dance

Ahh, with this clearer than transparent heart
I’ll be laughing at the world
Ahh, I chose music of all things
That version of me was stupid
 
Everything I want to convey is already
In this song and in my voice alone
 
After becoming the wind, disappearing with the bubbles
I want to throw these synaesthetic sentiments somewhere away
If I’m alright for you, if you want to know more
Then there’s nothing left to hide
For now, let’s dance a little
 
Ahh, I’d like to quit being a human
Isn’t that right, there’s nothing interesting about it anyways
Ahh, I flaunted my boastful guitar
I’d like to crush that version of me
 
Everything I want to convey is already
In summer and in winter, in tomorrow
 
After becoming ash, becoming faint and disappearing
I want to throw away these emotions that I had already lost a long time ago
If you’re fine, if you just want to forget
There’s nothing left to hesitate about
Let’s dance like this till dawn breaks
 
Ahh, I would quit playing music
I could describe you from my memories perfectly
Because there was something I really wanted to do and I couldn’t say it
It just didn’t come to mind
 
The way that I knew you, once day after day has passed
These emotions that I want to catch up with, I want to put them into song
If it hurts right now, excuses are fine, hey
Ahh, come on let’s dance
 
After becoming the wind, disappearing with the bubbles
I want to throw these incomprehensible emotions away somewhere
If I’m alright for you, if you want to know more
Then there’s nothing left to hide
For now, just for a while,
Let’s dance like this for a while
 
15.04.2019

moonlight

Don't even think about it
Waiting for you under the blue.
At the noon, summer breese blew
we hope to get out of world.
Hey, from now on what are we going to do?
They have never taught about the way.
Looked at your eyes just wander around without any word.
 
Don't even think about it
Adolescence is same as rubbish.
Although renounce by my piano,
off and on the tune never ends.
 
Hey, what are we going to be in
future?
I wish I'll be able to forget it.
Say something please.
 
In my heart I keep a distance from my memories.
But It wouldn't disappear. Too late to undo so
 
hurry, No more reminding.
 
It is totally wrong.
They won't find it who are human.
Truthness,love,and circles,torment,life so what? I don't care.
Tell me what is right I want to know as a matter of instinct.
Then I found the answer. It is your fault.
 
It's no use thinking about it, I wanna be child forever.
'Someday If I pass over'... what a empty imagination.
“what are we going to be in future?”
Now I know the answer.
I am nobody.
 
How I come to terms with the aversion to the delighted people? How to get rid of it?
I have the monster in my back of unfulfilled mind.
 
It is may be not wrong ah,
all in all, you are human.
Affection,comfort,kindness. what a creepy things. show me the basis.
 
To feel the pain by such love songs as a matter of instinct.
Whatever,thats enough. This is your fault.
 
Don't even think about it
How even live I'm painful
Music isn't profitable
lyrics are unreliable.
 
I don't care.
 
I'm totally right.
I must not be wrong.
I am not wrong, right?
 
It is totally wrong, I really knew that,
may be they too.
Truthness,love,and confort,torment,life so what? I don't care.
 
Not be able to say correct answer as a matter of instinct.
I don't care, it is your fault.
 
Once I had belief too.
However I deserted it already.
I wrote about you over and over,
that's exactly I never mind about selling.
It is true. It isn't lie. I used to be.
 
So that's why
that's why I throw away our music.
 
30.10.2018

Say it

Versions: #2
Say it
 
You know, I actually did hear
The news
 
But I couldn’t believe it
So I’d made myself forget
 
Now I realise I can’t fool myself
I can’t keep living like everything I do has no impact
 
When my time comes, I don’t think
I’ll have the words to say what’s in my heart
 
Yes, when my time comes, I’ll remember you
So just say it
Say it loud and clear
 
I don’t know that I have the words to explain the blueness of the sky,
Or to describe to you how distant the clouds are at night
 
So just say it
 
You know, I actually do know
That you’ve already left us
 
I know I’m being difficult but I just want to forget
 
Say it clearly
And write it down so you don’t forget
Let's meet up at ten tomorrow
 
A peony's beauty persists long after its petals have fallen
Yet once the summer has passed, I’ll miss it all the same
 
Get it out, shout it
Tell me
 
And when my time comes, I’ll sing my love for you
 
I’ll say it wasn’t all for nothing
If it means I can see you once more
 
But even as I breathe my last breath, I don't think I'll really believe you're actually gone
 
Tell me
Just tell me
And say it
 
Loud and clear