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09.03.2022

GARDEN

from the day my love began, I began to change
when I was just staring at you
you were always standing in that garden, looking lonely
as you stared at nothing but the scattering flowers
 
my unfulfilled wish made another wound in my aching heart
this reality bound up before my eyes still haunts me all the while
so that only the stifling atmosphere will
not forget me now
 
GARDEN wishing that someday I'll be able to meet you always
GARDEN in the midst of this passing season, forever... you will...
 
the sorrowfully withering flowers that have seen a thousand nights
in sepia your figure pictured
 
I want to forget, I don't want to forget,
these contradictory feelings subdued,
I stand here all by myself lonely,
with only the snow to color the scenery,
but still, always, so that I will not forget
 
I want to forget, I don't want to forget,
these contradictory feelings subdued,
I stand here all by myself
time passes quickly, vanishing from reality,
so that I will not forget these memories
 
06.01.2019

絶縁体 (Zetsuentai) [Insulator]


Measuring happiness by comparison
Hiding oneself to fit in well
Don't go, oh intolerable song
You laugh today, too
 
Will it be audible next year too?
What will the scream sound like?
A laughable life? That's up to you
Don't go, oh intolerable song
Someone cries today, too
 
Ah
Everyone obtains happiness
and even love
By deceiving each other
 
Doesn't matter who it is, I want them by my side, I don't need anything
What is this time to you?
Broken endlessly without reason
Without it being anyone's fault
 
「Living, no more or less」
 
Are you telling me, who can't even be allowed to do that,
To find value for myself?
Because those people just steal
And I've realised that their world is all worthless
You mean to say that makes it better?
 
「Believing, no more or less」
 
Burning blood
Who?
 
If you don't see the world, you can be yourself
 
Ah
Everyone obtains happiness
and even love
By deceiving each other
 
Because if I try believing
Things will be better?
If the song will be rewarded, then
I can live being slandered
I am me
Selling loneliness without value
 
「Living, no more or less」
 
Are you telling me, who can't even be allowed to do that,
To find value for myself?
Because those people just steal
And I've realised that their world is all worthless
You mean to say that makes it better?
 
06.01.2019

Downfall


Facing emotions vomited in anger and destruction
Remember
 
The meaning is...the meaning is...the meaning is...
 
The fury of others captured in a note
Remember
That which is traced starting with the curves
Is essentially the scream of a brief paper maché
A future which seems fun
 
Facing emotions vomited in anger and destruction
Remember
The meaning in howling obediently
Where is the meaning in howling obediently?
The answer based on justice
 
The fury of others captured in a note
Remember
That which is traced starting with the curves
Is essentially the scream of a brief paper maché
A future which seems fun
 
You say I can still make it?
I doubt it
Not in this world
 
The meaning in howling obediently
Where is the meaning in howling obediently?
That's not an answer
Borne from justice
The meaning in howling obediently
Where is the meaning in howling obediently?
The meaning borne of justice
The meaning is... the meaning is... the meaning is...
 
06.01.2019

Ranunculus

The song I hate is playing
Without even noticing it
The song kills the words like a lie
Just then, I notice
My heart
 
Pretending not to notice from the start that
I lived a repressed life not so that
I could live well
Oh spring, like a dream
 
By the fear of losing people
Before I knew it, I was deceived
Like someone else
Just then, I notice
My heart
 
Ranunculus
This alluring path
Ranunculus
 
Pretending not to notice from the start that
I lived a repressed life not so that
I could live well
Oh spring, like a dream
 
Not so that I could hate, right? Will I laugh for someone today, too?
Scream and live, I am alive
Ranunculus
 
06.01.2019

Values of Madness


Living is the worst
While thinking like that
I cannot love myself
 
Just by imagining it, I want to throw up
Pretending to be like all of you
Worthlessly seeing value in that cheap friendship
 
What I want to break beyond recognition
Is this world, and myself
Now who can't understand each other?
 
What doesn't have value is... this entire world
 
Go mad
I cannot love myself
 
What I can't throw away yet is
That someone will find me
The feeling that I want to believe that
Is off dreaming somewhere
 
A miserable life
While crawling about like that
Declaring an undying shame to be alive
 
What I want to break beyond recognition
Is this world, and myself
Now who can't understand each other?
 
What doesn't have value is... this entire world
 
Go mad
I cannot
Go mad
Chase it until you die
Go mad
I cannot
Stay on target
 
What I can't throw away yet is
That someone will find me
The feeling that I want to believe that
Is off dreaming somewhere
 
What color did you see as I bled?
The kind gaze disappears, without so much as a goodbye
 
Living is the worst
While thinking like that
I cannot love myself
 
06.01.2019

谿壑の欲 (Keigaku no Yoku) [Insatiable desire]


A morning which is calmer than usual
It's come to a lazy halt
 
Opening my eyes
In the middle of an obvious bright red pool of blood
 
The righteous face which smiles as it says it can't forgive
Young memories
Are its eyes cold?
The righteous face which weeps as it says it can't forgive
Young memories
Are its eyes wild?
 
Am I too broken?
Where shall I fall
From endless starvation
 
Worthless hesitation
Infecting someone, singing that song
It was too bad, prepare your funeral clothes
 
Opening my eyes
In the middle of an obvious bright red pool of blood
 
The righteous face which smiles as it says it can't forgive
Young memories
Are its eyes cold?
The righteous face which weeps as it says it can't forgive
Young memories
Are its eyes wild?
 
Not trying to meet its gaze
Is that how much you want to deceive?
 
That righteous person, who wishes for them?
And who says this next: 「」
 
05.01.2019

Celebrate Empty Howls


With a panicked face, dodging their gaze
An unbelievable expression
Smile in spite of that
Can you do it?
Does it begin with comparison?
 
That's right
Comparison with all of you
Who are like that is in itself a mistake
Repressing even your way of belief...
 
Just howling emptily
 
Where is my answer?
Are those who are crowded out just deformed children?
That's how they look, right?
 
That's right
Comparison with all of you
Who are like that is in itself a mistake
 
Why is it that we are painted over and destroyed
With the deranged changes of generations?
Even if you love or are loved
Everyone is defiled the same
 
That's right
Comparison with all of you
Who are like that is in itself a mistake
Repressing even your way of belief...
 
Just howling emptily
 
Does it feel empty because I'm living in a different world to you?
It feels empty because I see a different world to you
 
Neither are the solution so
Both may as well die
 
05.01.2019

詩踏み (Utafumi) [Poetry Trampling]


I am alone
A lonely death is all that’s left
I’m back stabbed easily
The view worth risking my life, is it now dwelling in the eyes?
 
The meaningless hesitation marks
And my soul that’s been empty for more than 10 years ha ha
 
Those scumbags talking bullshit
They’re like pet dogs, unable to break free from the chains
 
Fall
 
Almost like a complete stranger
I’m a monster with the same face
Loneliness was the only thing that was loved
We will not give up
From freedom with form suicide
 
The answer everyone believes may not necessarily be the correct one
 
The world of noise. What do you desire?
Just ask the future you came to realize
If I could love the bottom of my heart, it would then be somewhat comforting
We could’ve just smiled at each other without having to face this world
 
Come on
 
Those successful big shots
They’re always swarming around me
I don’t want to hear voices from anyone
 
I’ve had enough, should I try to find the purpose to live and carve THE FINAL on my arm?
Envy, love, freedom, they all turn into shit
 
05.01.2019

Devote My Life


It's not your fault that I want to die
I'm regretting that I was ever born
Being born was already a mistake
 
to die in
 
Oh father, mother, please forgive me
 
Loved you
 
I want my value, I want my value in living
 
Cruelly
 
How cruel my words and actions must be
to these two people?
Surely, more than to myself
 
to die in
 
Oh father, mother, please forgive me
 
I want my value, I want my value in living
 
You are cruel
 
05.01.2019

赫 (Aka) [Red]


In among suffering, starving for love
There's a world where even I can live a proud life?
Oh spring, please take me
 
Casting distant eyes to the red sky above my head
It's too vast, days of weeping wounds amassing
Oh spring, please take me
 
When I make it bloom,
Even I am forgiven, as I have one beautiful thing
 
I don't know love
I don't even know love
Will love protect me?
 
Meaning in the rope hanging from my ceiling
 
In among bitterness, starving for love
There's a world where even I can live a proud life?
Oh spring, please take me
 
When I make it bloom,
Even I am forgiven, as I have one beautiful thing
 
I don't know love
I don't even know love
Will love protect me?
 
Unchanging from that time
 
05.01.2019

Rubbish Heap


Fist
The things I am born with
Are different to all of yours
Maybe this isn't for anyone
Maybe tomorrow will bring a bright future
 
Want to live, want to live, you want to live don't you?
Why do you want to live so much?
 
Fist
Everything I see should rot
Died for someone
That wasn't any of you
They are surely justice
 
Want to live, want to live, you want to live don't you?
Why do you want to live so much?
 
Fist
Raise your fist
 
Howl and live covered in shit
Helplessly
Laughter wells up
3, 2, 1, countdown
Live with me
 
You all cry big tears
Pretending to listen
I salute you
 
Fist
We shall meet again
Please do your best until then
 
This value which is crumbling
I know it cannot not save anyone
Unceasing blood and tears
I hope one day that love will wipe them clean
I want it
 
05.01.2019

軽蔑と始まり (Keibetsu to Hajimari) [Slander and Beginnings]


I don't have anything
Besides living this way
So I don't think Im pathetic
That's all of you thinking that
 
This isn't for you
Laugh and look down on me
 
With the same old words
Which endlessly flowed
I grew tired of life
and fascinated with death
 
That is persecution
 
This isn't for you
Laugh and look down on me
Oh successful ones who could find themselves
Laugh and look down on me
 
I don't care even if I die
So celebrate the wounds
I don't care even if I die
 
I don't have anything
Besides living this way
 
That is persecution
Which are you?
 
Ah me, why do I hesitate?
Uncommon sense of a parasite
Paradise of fear, a dive of death
Uncommon sense of a parasite
 
More than anything
I want my value more than anything
 
I don't care even if I die
So celebrate the wounds
I don't care even if I die
I don't care even if I die
So celebrate the wounds
I don't care even if I die
 
CHAOS MODE
 
05.01.2019

人間を被る (Ningen wo kaburu) [Wearing Human Skin]

Stitching together the pieces of the wound
A lump of hatred has now been made
The worst of the worst quality, right?
 
Who can that be?
 
The slutty full-blown suicide
A cutting message has now been made
The worst greatest quality, right?
That’s why now…
 
Blessing to lose heart
The untarnishable happiness
 
It doesn’t matter who’s right
Whose rule do you live by?
Who will you live for?
Who would you live for?
 
The 30cm blade of reality
Peeks out from the hood
You with the dreams, die
Sounds right, no?
 
Reverberation Twelve
 
Blessing to lose heart
The untarnishable happiness
 
It doesn’t matter who’s right
Whose rule do you live by?
Who will you live for?
Who would you live for?
 
Why am I living?
 
I don’t care if I never wake up
Blessing to lose heart
…more meaning to live on
 
03.01.2019

激しさと、この胸の中で絡み付いた灼熱の闇 (Hageshisa To, Kono Mune No Naka De Karamitsuita Shakunetsu No Yami) [The violence and the darkness of the burning heat entwines in my heart]

The violence and the scorching darkness entangled within my heart
mingle with the unwavering tomorrow
 
Expose yourself
 
The hazy sky gathers close unleashes an abundance of rain
in a gushing downpour towards a future Suicide
Buried At Sea
Nurture your nature bow to corruption
 
Salute the slyness in breeding
 
A positive mindset and feelings of love
become fading pleasures Suicide
Don't care about how you look
 
The season of anxiety
The season of spring comes like the phantom killer
The bunny that tells lies find it's way
The bright-red garden and the decaying of ashes
It covers itself in pure white
Reaching out for another, regretting until death...
Repeating again and again...
 
The violence and the scorching darkness entangled within my heart
mingle with the unwavering tomorrow
 
The other side of death (x6)
 
The hazy sky gathers close unleashes an abundance of rain
in a gushing downpour towards a future Suicide
Buried At Sea
Nurture your nature bow to corruption
 
The worst existence
 
Dive like hell and destroy
 
The season of anxiety
The season of spring comes like the phantom killer
The bunny that tells lies find it's way
The bright-red garden and the decaying of ashes
It covers itself in pure white
Reaching out for another, regretting until death...
Repeating again and again...
 
The violence and the scorching darkness entangled within my heart
mingle with the unwavering tomorrow
 
The other side of death (x6)
 
Show me your lewd self (x4)
 
03.01.2019

鱗 (Uroko) [Fish Scales]

You say, eyes averted, wrist awakened
「I'm being reborn」
 
Mysteriously until the remains are pulled
Intertwining with the caterpillar
 
Underneath the sofa of the claw foot table the sphinx hides
It peers in the displayed tattoo
 
Gently the claw digs into short tail fin butter is lathered upon
 
I choose the wording in order to tame you
 
The chandelier shines for your sake alone
Touching the stale fish scale
 
You say, eyes averted, wrist awakened
「I'm being reborn」
 
Mysteriously until the remains are pulled
Intertwining with the caterpillar
 
Gently the claw digs into short tail fin butter is lathered upon
Swaying it gets enchanted
Fluttering it struggles, getting robbed of its beauty
I choose the wording in order to tame you
 
The chandelier shines for your sake alone
Touching the stale fish scale
 
20.10.2018

Followers


A world where anyone is forgiven
And from back in the day when I had faith, nothing is different
 
As I stand shoulder to shoulder with the days when I couldn't stand my ground
I can see from a new perspective, as an exchange for the scar
 
No matter how cruel the world is
Here, the place which welcomes you is one with the confessed answer
 
「That is me, This is me」
 
The ugly heart that is sown together
Just being your beautiful self is fine
 
No matter how cruel the world is
Here, the place which welcomes you is one with the confessed answer
 
Even if it's a cruel world, I will have faith
To take a vow, not tomorrow but right here, right now
 
The layered memories made by a pair of eyes which every man has
Living in the mundane moment
 
Layering it with you
 
17.10.2018

Diabolos

As this dreadful dream continues I wipe away my tears the spotty ash that brings me back sometimes disappears
I walk in someone else's footsteps and believe without a doubt, The Fantasy
 
Unable to show you
I follow the weathering path leading to the narrow door
 
Blue Velvet
I want to forget your beauty as you cross the Dead Sea
Blue Velvet
Because you are Beautiful whenever I touch you these scars of mine steal your gentle smile
 
Everyone gather to see the perfect view inevitably it will end
You knew that right? 「This world is cruel」
Struggling desperately day by day
What exactly are these fools offering you?
You still can't leave the dream behind
 
Standing infront of the drying out wind Holding the parrot that lost its way
I feel like I'm about to be killed by languid love
Come On, Let’s go
To the tower where the naked apes dance
The tongue of temptation beckons us
Following our instincts against better judgement
Our souls are assaulted with decay
We sprinkle their ashes like light rain
Bring it down here
The distasteful bright-red blood
 
Can you feel the breeze from the field the water reaches the heart and gives it life
But the bud is trampled on... Again
 
「 It wasn't you.. Who had changed
I hurt you and I laughed because I was the one who died
Crawling through these days as i rot away along with my eyes and blood
So let us stop being humans」
Disclose
 
Sacrifice
Give birth
You're so sublime
Alone in the darkness that charisma of screaming in loneliness
Scorched
 
The proof of my existence
Washed up on the shore
The sun devours the rotting road
 
Unable to show you
I follow the weathering path leading to the narrow door
 
Blue Velvet
I want to forget your beauty as you cross the Dead Sea
Blue Velvet
Because you are Beautiful whenever I touch you these scars of mine steal your gentle smile
Blue Velvet
It may be a foolish lie but I just want to love you a little more
I raise my vacant eyes towards the sky
 
I smile as I look to the future
I can't let go of the wrist... from yesterday